coping skills for kids

WTF is a Mom to do….

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

There were assignments that had to be done.

There was a long weekend at the beach.

There was a family day when the GF food options just weren’t the most tempting.

That’s where my life as a Mom begins…. over and over and over and over again! (sigh)

Welcome to the world of WHAT. THE. F. IS. A. MOM. TO. DO? I know… the language, but… unless you live it… um…just don’t even. 😉

I have always believed that you have to accomplish your chores, tasks and responsibilities before you get your privileges. It just makes sense.

But, when you have a child that is controlled by the foods that are most of what society eats… and those foods are everywhere…. and those foods completely deteriorate his brilliant cognitive process….

YOU GET A LITTLE PISSED OFF THAT THERE IS NOT MORE AWARENESS! Welcome to my world.

Maybe you know about gluten (and casein) sensitivity, maybe you don’t, but let me tell you, not knowing will be the downfall of our society. I know I sound like a drama queen… But, I’m as serious as I can possibly be. ANYONE that works with kids NEEDS TO KNOW THIS INFO!!

Gluten sensitive people (40% of our population) will feel sick when they eat too much gluten. Period. Symptoms include but are not limited to:

  • brain fog (lack of focus and cognitive functioning)
  • spaced out… think “walking dead”
  • unable to accomplish ADLs (activities of daily living)
  • headaches
  • stomach aches
  • constipation
  • rashes
  • aggression
  • anger
  • frustration
  • lethargy, fatigue
  • obesity, edema/swelling
  • joint pain
  • anxious, depressed
  • IS THAT ENOUGH?!?
  • Sound like ADHD?
  • It’s also ANXIETY!!!!!
  • WE NEED TO WAKE UP!!

We need to scream it from the rooftops! I NEED TO SCREAM IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!! I’ve lived it in the disastrous, whirlwind of gluten life for over a decade with my son. I was absorbed in the world of pediatrics, and I didn’t know, the awareness IS NOT THERE. The knowledge has not been shared with those that need to know. When I think back, it’s been 3+ decades for me and how long I’ve been affected by my personal struggles and symptoms. And, I see it in the majority of the pediatric patients I see (I only see kids).

This is the primary reason I care…

inflammation leads to

WE ALL NEED TO CARE! WE ALL NEED TO KNOW!!! BE EDUCATED!!! IT MATTERS!!!!!!!

If it was your 14 year old, and you’d been living it for over a decade, and you were finally getting answers, and you started seeing all the things our society was ignoring… and that lack of knowledge and ignorance is the reason your kid is getting “toxed”… You’d be fed up too! Try to detox… yup, it’s really like detox, wanna know more about the addiction and cravings, read this.  IT’S REAL!!!!! BELIEVE IT! I BEG OF YOU! PLEASE! Just start paying attention.

This part of the journey needs to be more understood… it’s the least enjoyable part in our family, honestly it sucks… especially when you know how to fix the problem. The disheartening and discouraging part is the blatant ignorance and denial of nutrition and it’s effects on our society, the problem is being ignored.

I’m ready to SCREAM!!!! I’m ready to share! I’m ready to spread the awareness of what is happening to our kids! I figured it out, and I know I can help others! Interested in funding my Awareness Campaign? Let me know… I’VE F’n HAD IT!!!!

 

*Disclaimer: I’m not against gluten, wheat per se, I am against TOO MUCH and OVER CONSUMPTION of wheat and processed foods. As long as you tolerate wheat and gluten products, make them 20-30% of your diet, if not, 0%, yes ZERO PERCENT of your diet! Period!

This journey is hard, but can be fun, but we ALL need to work together for the awareness of our fellow man, woman, child and for a better tomorrow for our communities.

Peace. kp.

 

Children Should NOT be Exposed to Some Things…TURN THE TV OFF!!

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

stop the madness

If we have a hard time wrapping our brain around it, how the hell do you think the kids feel… TURN THE TV OFF!!!!

I’ve worked in pediatrics and dealt with mental health patients for decades. WE NEED TO STOP THE MADNESS!!! Wake up! There is hatred! It sucks! But, we cannot change it, and we need to know how to protect ourselves from it emotionally.

The list in this article is a repost from 2 previous posts; one about natural disasters, and  a post about Continue reading →

I do it ALL for My WHY?

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

HI! A friend and fellow Inspirer asked for some insight about WHY we do what we do? What gives us PASSION, what gives us ENERGY to keep moving forward? What is your WHY?? Think about it, write it down, it might be a little more motivating than you realize…

Tell your story

My WHY is My family. I do everything I do for my kids health and well being. I’m working harder now to spend time on the beach later with my Hubby when we are old and our kids are wildly successful and can take care of us (play along, I have faith).  Continue reading →

YOU’RE WRONG!! That’s not it at all….

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

 

child-punishment-120514

The kindergartener that knows the right answer, but won’t raise his hand.

The 7th grader that goes to the nurse for a “bandaid” a little too often.

The student with a headache before math class EVERY day.

The kid that just keeps making jokes and disturbing class.

The 2nd grader that STOPPED and put her pencil down on the second problem.

The 8th grader avoiding class because there’s just TOO many people.

The 6th grader with more than occasional stomach ache.

The class clown that’s avoiding what he doesn’t know.

The 3rd grader that’s pretty damn smart, but says, “I can’t do that!” when faced with a more mentally challenging task.

The 1st grader that runs in school even after being told to STOP, not because he’s defiant or has ADHD, but because there is thunder and lightening outside!

The 9th grader who can’t pay attention in class because she can’t fall asleep at night worrying about her grades.

The 1st grader that resists help and completely melts down.

The 8th grader that thinks life is going to end when she gets a C.

The kid that asks to go to the bathroom, but talks to every adult and child along the way to avoid the unknown and awkward feeling of going back to class and NOT fitting in.

Kids don’t have panic attacks…

Kids avoid.  Kids hide.

KIDS DO NOT ASK FOR HELP!!!

Kids repress.

They run away.

They back into a corner with their hands over their ears.

They complain about “nothing.”

They fight back.

They need adults that know the difference.

THEY. NEED. US. TO. UNDERSTAND.

We need to recognize childhood anxiety!

Before it’s too late…..

#think globally

#YOUcanmakeadifferenceforjust1kid

* I know each and every one of these children, they are real, they struggle. Do you know how many children struggle? More than you think. >25% and 1/2 are likely not diagnosed, so you see there is a gross underestimate statistically.

Experiment #1: Essential Oils (doTERRA Vetiver)

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

Hi friends! I’m so excited to share my journey with essential oils with you. I started using doTerra CPTG Essential Oils about a month ago, and I. AM. HOOKED.

And calmer. More focused. More grounded. More aware. And, thankfully, less stressed.

So, what have we been using so far?  The standard trio that everyone has heard of: lavender, lemon, and peppermint. We’ve been diffusing them in the house and bedrooms. Just a drop of lemon on a tissue on my desk will help get me through the day.

I’m sure you are you wondering what EXPERIMENT #1 is?

I read a study about the effects of Vetiver Essential Oil for focus.

I think y’all now know where this is going… Josh will be trying vetiver. My boy could use a little assistance staying grounded and focused.

IMG_1316

Poor Josh. My guinea pig. That sweet kid is either going to hate me or thank me someday.

Hopefully, he continues to play nice. He’s been pretty cooperative at home. He’s taking some to school tomorrow, just a few drops on a tissue. Tonight, he chose to mix it with Wild Orange. It is next to his bed, and we will diffuse it in the morning with Wild Orange, Citrus Blend, and I think I’m going to add a little Lemon too (it’s uplifting).

We’ve been changing all kinds of things in our world to help Josh with his ADHD and anxiety. Helping Josh only helps the rest of us, he isn’t the only one with challenges.

I’ll be sharing all the new and mind blowing information about the alternative approaches we are trying in another post soon.

I’ll keep you posted about Experiment #1 when I tell you about Experiment #2, sinus issues anyone?

Until then, Enjoy the Journey, friends! 😉

If you are interested in more info, please contact me.

*Using essential oils can assist you on your path to ultimate health and wellness. Please be advised that Essential Oil practices discussed on this website are not intended to replace the advice of your medical provider. Please learn about essential oils before you use them. 

Hyperactive or just busy… Could your child have ADHD?? (v.2)

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

So many parents ask about ADHD and their child. Kids are busy and active, and they are supposed to be; so how do you know if they are “hyperactive” vs. “normoactive”… Read Hyperactive or just busy… and find out.

Even with the struggles, I hope you to take the time to Enjoy the Journey while you are figuring it out. 😉

dennis_standing vs mom

Can you imagine being Dennis’ mom?? Some days, I think I am…

Playtime is SO important!

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

Few things are more important in a child’s world than PLAY! 

kids playing

I read an article today that I want to share with as many people as I possibly can. This article discusses how terribly important play is to our children and to our society as a whole. Please take the time to read

“Give childhood back to children: if we want our offspring to have happy, productive and moral lives, we must allow more time for play, not less”.

Children’s play gives them opportunities to learn to navigate through the real world. Learning through play helps kids deal with challenges they face in their environment and their relationships. It helps to build self-esteem, helps them think through problems to overcome challenges, and helps them build relationships. Eliminating time for children to figure things out on their own, be it projects or relationships, can lead to mental health challenges such as low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression, which in turn decreases their ability to feel confident in completing a challenging task.The above article goes into more detail about all of this, so please take a moment to enlighten yourself. There is nothing more important to cultivate than the mind of a child!

I hope you and your children take time to play, and as I always say, Enjoy the Journey! 😉

Small Dose #15 – Family Time is PRICELESS!! Happy Thanksgiving!!

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

Time spent together is one of the most valuable lessons you can teach your children!

Children want nothing more than to be with their family and to be accepted!

Family time increases self esteem, and makes for happy kids! No Doubt about it!!

Here’s hoping that this Thanksgiving is a good one for you and those closest to you!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

“Be thankful for being together!”-Marci (the philosophically intelligent friend of Charlie Brown & Peppermint Patty)

Please, remember to be grateful & Enjoy the Journey, friends!!! 😉

Hey kids, that extra hour was supposed to be for sleep…

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / 1 Comment

Yay, an extra hour of sleep!! Well, that is unless you have kids (or pets) that are on a schedule and can’t tell time. Most of us are thrilled to have an extra hour of sleep when Daylight Saving comes to an end and we “Fall Back.” I learned early along my parenting journey that the time change can wreak havoc on a child with a good schedule. Good parenting involves schedules, so most kids will have some adjustment to make. Most kids have an internal clock, and it’s not necessarily the same as the time on your wall. Making the change can be difficult for many kids and their family.

One way to help minimize the difficulties is to change your child’s schedule in small increments, not an hour all in one day. Change your child’s schedule by 15 minutes at a time. 

Take bedtime for example: If your child typically goes to bed at 8pm, they are going to start melting down around 7. Change their bedtime to 7:15 for a few nights. Then, make bedtime 7:30, a few nights later 7:45, then finally back to 8 a few nights later.

Personally, I am going to enjoy the time change most when I get up for work tomorrow and it isn’t dark outside. There may be challenges during the day and especially in the evening, but the sun coming up an hour earlier will make getting my kids up a little easier. On the flip side, it will make outside playtime after school shorter, meaning less time for the kids to ‘get their wiggles out.’

Every stage of raising kids has it’s challenges. So, I have a small anecdote for those of you with kids that were up too early for you to enjoy your extra hour. Watch out when they do learn to tell time… When Joshua first learned to tell time, I tried to get him to bed a little earlier. He told me that the clock didn’t say 8:00, so it wasn’t his bedtime yet! That took a little extra time and some coersion…. So, enjoy the days when they don’t tell time, the next stage is equally challenging.

I hope all of you get to put that extra hour to good use and find time to spend it Enjoying the Journey!

Helping Children Deal with Disaster

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / 1 Comment

With all of the news coverage of Hurricane Sandy, aka “Frankenstorm” I thought I should write a post about helping children deal with natural disasters.

So, how can you help your child go through a stressful event and minimize worry and concern?

  • The most important thing to do is stay calm. Children look to the adults around them for support and comfort. Often, parents will appear anxious, worried, and constantly talk about their fears and “what if…” scenarios. When a child is exposed to these behaviors, they will most likely be more anxious and worried as well.
  • Turn the TV OFF! Watching images of destroyed property, angry weather, and listening to hyped up newscasters will only increase a child’s concern. Watch a family movie or play a family game instead.
  • Talk to your child about their fears and concerns. Children will often be worried about things because they have exaggerated or irrational predictions about what may happen.
  • If there are serious injuries or losses, make sure your child knows what is going on. Children that don’t know the reality of a situation will often assume the worse.
  • Encourage your child to ask you any questions they want. Discuss what they are worried about, the unknown can be scary.
  • Find time for friends. Having life return to normal as soon as possible can be the best way to help your child understand that things will be ok!
  • Spend time together, this will make your child feel comfortable and secure.
  • Remember, children are resilient, they often persevere during times of stress and turmoil!
  • Encourage your child to journal or draw to deal with their feelings.
  • Continue to practice habits for good health. Get adequate sleep, exercise and make sure you eat well. Taking care of your body in times of stress is important. For tips on nutrition, check out my post, Let them eat cake… for breakfast?

Helping children through times of high anxiety can be challenging. Recognizing that your child is having difficulty dealing with a situation is not always easy. Symptoms of stress and anxiety can present in multiple ways, such as: bad dreams, insomnia, bed wetting, not eating well, not wanting to venture away from a parent/caregiver, stomach aches, headaches, not wanting to play with friends, difficulty concentrating, difficulty in school, or even irritability. If your child seems to be having lingering effects for a prolonged period of time, I would recommend seeing your primary care provider. Children can have Acute Stress Syndrome, which occurs immediately or within a month of the precipitating even. Children can  suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome if the fear and anxiety symptoms last for weeks or months.

If you and your family had to endure the weather challenges of Hurricane Sandy, I hope you came through it without any serious injuries or damages. It sure was  one heck of a storm, definitely one for the record books. Going through natural disasters is an unfortunate part of life. It is part of the journey we could all do without!

Hopefully this part of your journey will be put behind you quickly, and make you and your children stronger on the flip side.