Author: Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC

Springtime & Sneezes…You might have allergies if…

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / 8 Comments

AAAACCHHOOOO! Excuse me! We’re having a little problem with allergies already this spring, how about you?!? It’s Springtime and allergies are in full flare! I love Spring, it is my favorite season! The grass is so green, the flowers are so pretty and brilliant, the birdies are singing, the air is warming up, what’s not to like? Well, ok, yes, the pollen and allergens that travel up our nose as we begin to venture back outside.

Can you recognize the symptoms??? Some patients tell me they don’t have allergies,  they just have a cough.

  •  Well, if that cough is nagging you mostly at night and when you wake in the morning, you might have allergies.
  • If you wake up and have to clear your throat or blow your nose, you might have allergies.
  • If your child is coughing when they first wake up, it sounds a little wet, or a little hoarse, but then goes away in 30-45 minutes or so, they might have allergies.
  • If you sneeze, you might have allergies.  
  • If you have a sore, scratchy throat, but no fever, you might have allergies. (It is always a good idea to have a sore throat check out with your doctor or NP, if it’s strep, it has to be treated.)
  • If you have a clear runny nose that doesn’t get worse and doesn’t go away, you might have allergies.
  • If you have itchy, watery eyes, you might have allergies. 
  • If your child has asthma and is wheezing, it may be worsened by allergies.

There are many people that don’t think they have allergies, but they might…. ;-). Keep in mind that if you notice these symptoms year round, your allergies may be indoor and outdoor. The best way to determine if you have allergies is to see your primary care provide or an allergist. My allergy doc and his RN/Allergy Specialist wife, are a great resource for me! If you are local, email me and I will give you their contact info. They would be happy to help!

So, what can you do about your allergies so that you can enjoy the great outdoors???

  • If you don’t typically suffer from allergy problems, a netty pot can be a great way to help clean out those sinuses. I have friends that swear by their nasal rinses! You will want to microwave or boil the water before using the netti pot…of course, you should allow it to cool to room temperature before doing the rinse. 
  • Taking an antihistamine such as Claritin or Zyrtec can be helpful. I usually recommend Allegra if these first 2 aren’t helpful.
  • Nasal sprays such as Flonase or Nasonex can be quite helpful. They help to reduce the swelling and secretions caused by allergens.
  • Nasal sprays and oral medications can be a good combination therapy. If you’ve tried this without relief, I recommend seeing an allergist.
  • Eye drops such as Zatidor or Pataday can be helpful as well. Check with your health care provider to be sure this is the appropriate treatment for your family.
  • Wash your hair every night!! As we go though the day, all kinds of allergens sit on our hair. If we don’t wash them off, they are on the pillow. Laying on a pillow full of allergens all night is just as bad or even worse than being outside.
  • Keep your windows closed! The first thing I want to do when the weather warms up is open the windows. My husband runs behind me closing them all up again because he and Joshua have bad allergies. Keeping the windows closed keeps the allergens out!
  • Get rid of carpet and heavy drapes that hold dust and allergens. Hard floors and blinds are much easier to keep clean.
  • Buy hypoallergenic pillow and mattress covers. I am not even going to mention all the allergens (dust mites,etc) that can be trapped in pillows.
  • When you are cleaning the house, wet dust and wet mop. Sweeping and dry dusting just moves the dust around. Investing in a vacuum with a good HEPA filter to trap the allergens can be helpful also. Many vacuums just blow the dust right back out.
  • Immunotherapy: Allergy shots provide small exposure to specific allergens to help the immune system build up antibodies against the allergen. Immunotherapy works!
  • Don’t forget that Hydration can be helpful! If you learn nothing else from me, you will learn the importance of hydration (see The Importance of Hydration for more info on adequate hydration)
  • Treating allergies can be tricky, don’t try to do it all by yourself.

Please keep in mind that untreated allergies can cause increased problems for those with asthma and eczema. I see so many kids with eczema problems that are not on allergy medication, allergy medication may be key in controlling the eczema symptoms.

The secretions that come from inflamed nasal and sinus tissue can cause ear infections, sinus infections, and headaches. I have found that most people that suffer from allergies are allergic to grass and dust mites. So inside and outside, there is always exposure. These people should be on allergy medication year round.

There are a many different foods that cause allergies as well. Many people suffer from food sensitivities vs. food allergies. I suffered from occasional stomach pain and Irritable Bowel Symptoms all my life, and finally found that I have food sensitives.  Food sensitives can present as stomach pain, bloating, vomiting, dry skin, eczema and other allergy symptoms.  Allergy testing, diagnosis, and treatment can be tricky. Just because the test is negative doesn’t mean you don’t have a sensitivity to that substance. I’ve talked to Kathy, RN my best allergy source at the office and we both agree that an negative allergy panel is not conclusive; there is no way to test for the millions of substances that are floating around in this world.

Well, I hope I’ve given you enough info to help you through the Spring. I talk more about food allergies and concomitant allergies in another post, Don’t eat that egg…You’re allergic to Ragweed.  Concomitant allergies are foods that will make allergies worse. One example is avoiding apples during the season when oak trees are blooming. Another is avoiding milk, egg, and mint if you have a ragweed allergy. So, as you can see, allergy testing can be helpful!

I think it’s time end this post and go wash my face and hands… My cat came and sat down next to me about 10 minutes ago, which usually doesn’t bother me, but I was petting him for a few minutes, and apparently touched my face, and now my eyes are all itchy and watering…. Still love my Jersey cat though! He’s a big, beautiful, black tom cat that will be 17 next month. He’s a sweety! Glad I didn’t know I had a cat allergy before I got him. Although, I had a sneaky suspicion when I got my Persian back in college and needed my inhaler every couple hours to breathe comfortably the first few days.  After I got used to her, things got better, I should have known then. I guess I did, but I love cats, and denial is a powerful defense mechanism! 😉

Please let me know if you have more questions about allergies, and I will do my best to help you Enjoy your parenting journey!

Field Trip without Mommy….Fun for him, nail biting for me!

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. 

It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”    -Elizabeth Stone

Well, this quote describes what it is like to send your child on a field trip without you! That is my day today.  Joshua is on a field trip to the Kennedy Center to see the Symphony, very cool!  I wish I could have gone, but space was limited. This is the first field trip he has been on in 10 years that takes him out of our community without his father or myself.  I have already had my little talk with ‘The Man’ upstairs!! 😉 I know Josh will be fine, but it still makes me anxious to have my child 90 miles away, and I have no control over what happens to him.  I mean, what if there is a natural disaster or something… I know the odds are that he is going to be fine, and there will be no natural disaster, but, it still makes me a little anxious! If you have children that are school age or older, I’m sure you know what I mean. I remember when Josh first started preschool, I wanted to know what he did and didn’t eat and when he did or didn’t go to the bathroom. It’s just a Mom thing!

When I first started my Nurse Practitioner program, I had to go to Stonybrook, NY for a 3 day orientation.  Of course, this was when Joshua’s kindergarten class went on a field trip and I was going to miss it. Not only was I going to be 4 states away, but Josh would be in the city without me or his father… Well, at 6 years old, it just wasn’t going to happen! I made my husband take off and go with him. It wasn’t that hard to convince him, but my husband is a dedicated worker, and takes off very infrequently. They went up to Port Discovery and had a blast, Daddy included!! He had an interesting day keeping up with the kindergartners, to say the least. 😉

So, today, I sit thinking of all the things that could happen….even though I know they will be fine… right?? But, what about all the stories you hear on the news of bus accidents that involve school children…It Can Happen! I know that is out of my control. I just have to believe that they will come home safe and sound as planned. Joshua’s school hires a professional bus from a very reputable company, I have to trust that the drivers are more than qualified. I actually went on the bus to meet the driver, that made me feel a little better.  I know you can’t judge a book by it’s cover, but this man didn’t look like a mass murderer, drunk, druggie, or someone that would be texting while driving. I hope I am right!

The one thing I can control is how well my child is prepared without me around.

  • Joshua knows he has to stay with a responsible adult.
  • He knows that he has to use his manners.
  • We have explained to our children they need to go to a predetermined “safe spot” if they get lost. He knows not to wander off, he could be lost forever. (Yes, I’ve threatened my kids with that, terrifying maybe, but it works!!)
  • We have tried to teach our children to be aware of their surroundings, and to know what to do in case something goes wrong.

Preparing children to maneuver in the world is one of the many important lessons we need to teach along this important journey called parenthood!!

I am certain that Joshua will come home this evening safe and sound, and tell me all about the symphony and how awesome it was! Well, that might be wishful thinking, he usually has very short answers. Most of the questions I ask get answered with one word, “Good.” Regardless of the question, Joshua’s go to answer is always “Good!”  Tell me what it was like Josh? “Good”…Did you have fun? “Yes, it was good.”… Did you learn anything? “It was good.” I’ve learned from other mom’s that it is a boy thing.  If you ask a girl, she will give you a dissertation about the entire day. Funny how when we want him to be quiet, he talks and talks and talks…. 😉 Regardless of what he tells me about his day, he will have no idea of the worry he has put his poor mother through, but that is the oblivious beauty of childhood!

I know I’m not the first or last mom that has had a day of nail biting waiting for their precious child to return home from a field trip. Do you have any helpful hints for keeping children safe while on a field trip without Mom or Dad?? I’d love the hear and be able to share with other anxious parents.

What a responsible journey this parenthood thing is, huh?? Fun though!! 🙂

Small Dose #4- Speak up!!

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

 If you observe children teasing or bullying, speak up…. kids depend on adults to help them and protect them. Bullying can severely impact a child’s self esteem. Teach your child to be kind to others, and expect the same in return! Tell your children to report bullying to you or another trusted adult. It’s going to take adult interference to stop bullying! So, while on this journey we call parenthood SPEAK UP & INTERFERE!!

There is no such thing as INNOCENT VIOLENCE!

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

After seeing today’s news about yet ANOTHER high school shooting, I felt compelled to share some information on children and violence.  The future of our children and the society we are creating weighs heavily on my mind.

Children that do not get the needed love, support and guidance during the first few years of life will constantly be seeking attention for the remainder of their life. This can lead to many issues for the child, as they do whatever it takes (good or bad) to feel valued. This feeling of worthlessness leads to inappropriate and high-risk behavior (see below).

I found some information online at the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry that I wanted to share. This is serious stuff, so I’m not going to have any funny jokes or stories today, just feel the need to share some info….

The following information is copied directly from www.aacap.org:

1. “Hundreds of studies of the effects of TV violence on children and teenagers have found that children may:

Children with emotional, behavioral, learning or impulse control problems may be more easily influenced by TV violence.”
(if you click on the above writing in red, you can view the website directly)
2. “Factors Which Increase Risk of Violent Behavior: Numerous research studies have concluded that a complex interaction or combination of factors leads to an increased risk of violent behavior in children and adolescents.  These factors include:
  • Previous aggressive or violent behavior
  • Being the victim of physical abuse and/or sexual abuse
  • Exposure to violence in the home and/or community
  • Genetic (family heredity) factors
  • Exposure to violence in media (TV, movies, etc.)
  • Use of drugs and/or alcohol
  • Presence of firearms in home
  • Combination of stressful family socioeconomic factors (poverty, severe deprivation,    marital breakup, single parenting, unemployment, loss of support from extended family)
  • Brain damage from head injury”

3. “What are the “warning signs” for violent behavior in children? Children who have several risk factors and show the following behaviors should be carefully evaluated:

  • Intense anger
  • Frequent loss of temper or blow-ups
  • Extreme irritability
  • Extreme impulsiveness
  • Becoming easily frustrated

Parents and teachers should be careful not to minimize these behaviors in children.”

4. “Can anything prevent violent behavior in children?

Research studies have shown that much violent behavior can be decreased or even prevented if the above risk factors are significantly reduced or eliminated.  Most importantly, efforts should be directed at dramatically decreasing the exposure of children and adolescents to violence in the home, community, and through the media.  Clearly, violence leads to violence.  In addition, the following strategies can lessen or prevent violent behavior:

  • Prevention of child abuse (use of programs such as parent training, family support programs, etc.)
  • Sex education and parenting programs for adolescents
  • Early intervention programs for violent youngsters
  • Monitoring child’s viewing of violence on TV/videos/movie”
Pretty heavy info, I know, but so important to share. The well being of our children and the future of our society are at risk.  The one thing we can do to make a difference is try our best to raise mentally and emotionally healthy children.  What a difficult, but important journey we are on friends! I hope some of my advice helps you along your journey!

Small Dose #3 – Sleep

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / 1 Comment

Sleep is a vital need for good health! Make sure your kids have a good bedtime routine.  If your child wakes up tired, they are not getting enough sleep.  If your child wakes up ready to take on the world, sounds like the zzzzz’s were enough. A child that doesn’t get enough sleep is not able to function at their best potential.  Children that do not get enough sleep will exhibit symptoms similar to ADHD; they may have trouble paying attention and retaining important information. More info in a future post on the importance of sleep! Thanks for joining me on this amazing journey called parenthood!! 😉

Praise & Encouragement go a long way…Be your child’s cheerleader!

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

Kids need to know that they are doing the right thing, and they depend on Mom and Dad to keep them in check!  We all have had our moments when our children are definitely not acting the way we raised them, or so we thought.

Remember, much of our teaching is by example, and much of what kids learn about behavior is observed.

I find myself raising my voice more often than I like, it is a bad habit that I am trying to stop.  There are days that Joshua just makes me lose it, and if I don’t walk away, I could turn into a Drill Sargent. When I say do something, I expect it to be done, you know what I’m saying??? I don’t want to have to repeat myself 2, 3, 4 or more times!! It definitely takes a lot of patience to be a parent, more than I ever imagined!

The louder I get, the less they hear…. The longer I talk, the less they hear…. 😦

It’s not that I have chosen to parent this way, there are just those days that I’m on the go and/or stressed over something, and I have less patience. On days like this, I am grateful for a husband that can balance me.  Fortunately, we balance each other well! 🙂 When he has his days, I have to call him down too. We talk about it, and know we need to keep our cool and address the issue at hand.  Instead of focusing on what Josh has done wrong, focusing on the behavior and how to change it is the key. I mention Joshua, because he IS the reason James Dobson wrote the books, Raising the Strong Willed Child and Bringing Up Boys! Which I highly recommend! Good info, and fun to read!

Consequences are the best answer to unacceptable behavior!! I have tried to chose my words carefully with my children.  It is important to mean what you say, and follow through! Don’t give empty threats; like Santa won’t bring you any toys……Really? I doubt it! I do tell Josh that I can take those toys Santa brings and put them in the basement!!  😉 This is the ultimate consequence for Josh. If we take a toy that he is currently obsessed with, he straightens right up.  We have started to take some of the toys and electronics away during the school week.  It makes for better focus, and actually more “creative time”!!  I’ve talked about the importance of what I call “creative time” for a child’s self esteem. Win – Win!

Praise is one of the most effective mechanisms of good parenting. Praising a child makes them feel good about what they have accomplished…making them feel good about their self… building self esteem! When children feel good about an accomplishment, it creates drive and ambition to create something else that mimics that ‘feel good’ feeling.

Encourage your child to reach for the stars!! Children are limited or unlimited by their surroundings. An environment that is negative and lonely can severely limit a child. Children want to be loved and accepted, it is a basic human need. If a child feels neglected, they will do whatever it takes to seek the attention they so desperately crave. These attention seeking behaviors can be acting out, crying, throwing toys, and in adolescents drug use and sexual promiscuity, just to name a few.  Encouraging a child to take that next step, like singing that song in front of the church congregation, or playing a sport, or building a lego house….. Whatever it is that they want to do, encourage it! 

Basically, if you praise and encourage your children for their positive actions and behaviors you will get positive behavior in return. Be your child’s cheerleader! Tell them they have nice manners.  Encourage them to do well on that test and on the playing field. Cheer them on! Be an example of happy, positive behavior!

Pick your battles. Let them express themselves! Encourage pink or purple hair, if that is what makes them happy, it’s only hair, long, short, or different colors, what’s the big deal (unless there is a special or formal event).  I saw two kids yesterday, one with pink and one with purple streaks. I thought it was a fun way for them to express themselves. BTW- Drew Elizabeth wants purple hair, we settled for a couple feathers in her hair the for the first time, but I’m all for the purple hair.  I’ll definitely keep you posted on this one!

I ask the teenagers that I see in the office what they want to do when they grow up, some know, some don’t.  I ask them what they like to do the most?  When they have free time, what is it they are doing? I tell them to take whatever it is that they like the most, and think about a career that is similar. I tell them they can take whatever it is they like the most in the world and use their imagination to find a way to make a living doing it. They look at me, smile a little bit, and I can see the wheels start turning.  Teens are a different bunch, they torment their parents, I’m not looking forward to the teen years.

SO, Praise your children & Encourage them to reach for the stars….It makes for happy healthy kids!! Happy, healthy kids are what this journey is all about, ENJOY!

Happy Birthday Baby Boy…A whole new world!!

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / 5 Comments
image baby

Babies make the world a happier place

At 5:46am, I will have been riding this train called Parenthood for 10 years! Oh My, What a ride it has been so far… 😉 If anyone thinks it’s easy, I beg to differ!!  I remember 10 years ago I started having contractions at the beginning of NYPD Blue. For those of you that remember, NYPD Blue was on Tuesday nights at 10, well, I contracted about every 8 -15 minutes throughout the show.  I called my best friend, who was so excited. She was going to forget about her fear of blood (I’m talking pass out kind of fear 😉 ) to be there when this new little bundle was going to enter this world. My husband didn’t quite get this was the real deal, and thought he was going to take a Benadryl and go off to sleep. I had to explain that I thought it was going to be a long night, and Benadryl was not a good idea! Well, it wasn’t too long, I was having contractions every 2 minutes as we were on our way to the hospital at midnight.  And, wouldn’t you know it, we pulled right up on a cop half way there. Morgan was so excited, he wanted to throw on the flashers, and speed past him.  I dared him to pass.  That was the last thing I wanted to deal with… This baby wasn’t coming quite that fast.

I wasn’t at the hospital for more than 4 hours, before my Joshua made his entrance, Thank GOD it was quick!! There are a few things that needed consideration during this birthing process….DRUGS!?!? I needed to decided if I wanted an epidural, or no epidural, this $#!+ hurt!!!  I’m not going to bore you with all the details of my birth story, we each have our own….and, each is definitely a Rite of Passage!

Speaking of Epidurals… a topic for any of you still in the baby making phase of parenthood.  I think women should decide if they want an epidural with no persuasion from husbands, mothers, in-laws, etc.  This is a personal decision!! There is nothing wrong with having an epidural, each person tolerates pain differently, and has different philosophies about pain. If labor is long and difficult, an epidural can be quite beneficial for mom and baby.  If mom is too stressed during labor, baby can be stressed during labor.  One thing to remember is that it takes time for the epidural to wear off after the baby is born. If a woman is induced, she should consider that the contractions induced by Pitocen (the hormone used to stimulate uterine contractions) can cause some really powerful and painful contractions.  Now, don’t get me wrong, contractions are a 15 on a pain scale of 1-10 with or without Pitocen, but with your body being forced into something it isn’t quite ready to do naturally, it just seems to make the contractions more forceful.  I’ve had friends that have had babies and needed Pitocen, and had no epidural. My hats off… it is an amazing feat, just plain amazing! I had no Pit, and my contractions hurt like He!!, No ifs, ands, or buts about it…Any woman that gives birth and doesn’t have an epidural can tell you, CHILDBIRTH HURTS!

When to go without an epidural?? I went without an epidural because I was blessed with quick labors.  Joshua was born 4 hours after I got to the hospital. This baby wasn’t waiting for the sun to come up or an epidural, he was in a hurry to get out and see what this world was all about.  Believe me, I thought about it, I have some back problems that made things a little iffy, and helped make my decision. If labor is quick, then, my personal opinion is suck it up, and get it over with.  The movie Fast and Furious was in theaters, that was what Joshua’s birth reminded me of…  He was 3.5 weeks early, 6#4oz, and 21.75″long, born in less than 8 hours from my first contraction. 1.5 hours of that was pushing…ughhh!!  All I could say, that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life! At least that’s what I thought at the time, but the actual parenting thing is much harder!  All that pushing causes the baby to spend longer in the birth canal, causing a nice little cone head… it usually returns to normal within 24-48 hrs.  The little hats they have in the hospital are necessary to keep their body heat in because babies are learning to regulate their body temp, but the hats are perfect to cover up that little cone head until it is a little cuter. One of the best things in the world is the downy softness of a babies head! Enjoy it when you can, it only lasts a few months.

Aunt Shell made it and thought it was an amazing experience; and there actually wasn’t all that  much blood…We love Aunt Shell, she’s tops! 🙂 Aunt Kathy also made it in time, and was the first to say It’s a Boy!! (yes, we impatiently waited to find out). She was also the first to notice that Joshua looked just like his Daddy! Well, I do love the daddy, so that’s ok, I guess!

Another question that comes with babies – Breastfeeding or Bottlefeeding. This too is a personal decision for parents, but I am going to have to say the decision does have to weigh Mom’s feelings the most.  Breastfeeding takes dedication! It can be one of the most rewarding things you ever do (it was for me!), but for some women, it can be very difficult.  Breastfeeding can provide so many benefits to a baby, such as: increased immunities through breastmilk, help with allergies, management of cholesterol later in life, help with lifelong management of a healthy weight, help decrease ear infections, more easily digested by immature GI system, and the bonding experience is priceless, and there are so many more….  Yes, I am  an advocate for breastfeeding, I am also a lactation consultant.  As a practitioner, I support whatever decision Mom makes, no questions asked! I have helped so many moms and babies through their breastfeeding difficulties.  For the mom that is dedicated, breastfeeding can work out.  There are some women that are not capable of producing an adequate milk supply for their child.  This happens when women have insufficient glandular tissue for adequate lactation. This is real, I have friends that have had this grueling experience.  I enjoy a blog by a female pediatrician that expresses the distress from a mother that was unable to produce an adequate supply for her child.  Check out her struggles, at Confession of a Dr. Mom.  The information I have read so far on her blog has been awesome!

My Joshua, in Gryffindor tie with wand in hand! LOVE HIM!!

My Boy has changed my world, he has taught me that there are rules to parenting that don’t always fit every kid. Just when you think you know what you’re doing, the kids forget to read the book and respond appropriately….ugh! So, Fast and Furious has been going on for about 10 years….and hopefully will continue for many, many, many more!

All I really wanted to say was Happy Birthday to my Joshua! The catalyst that started this unbelievable journey called parenthood!

I LOVE YOU JOSHIE!! 🙂 

Find some “creative time”…don’t let Life’s stressors get to your kids!!

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

Childhood is a time of creativity, free thinking, and discovering oneself in this great big world.   As parents it is our responsibility to provide an environment for our children to have fun, smile, laugh and run around just being kids. Kids should have the opportunity to explore and play with smiles on their faces while laughing with friends.  This is the beautiful mental image of childhood, but not everyone’s childhood….

Creating an environment that allows for exploration and creativity allows children to learn by maneuvering and managing through their world.  Children discover new things about the world just by exploring  every day situations.  As a child grows older and their world expands, they are exposed to more of the “real world”.  Children depend on their parents to protect them from the stressors life in this “real world” has to offer.

Recently, I have been seeing children that have stomach aches, headaches, are acting out in school, having anger issues, suffering from bullying, and/or are dealing with dysfunctional family issues.  Most of these children have one thing in common, they don’t know how to cope with the hurdles that life is putting in front of them.  Parents have a  responsibility to help their children learn how to navigate and cope with the world they live in.  

Did you know that 5% of all children and adolescents suffer from depression or anxiety problems, that’s 1 out of every 20 children.  That is one child out of every classroom! WOW!  Another unfortunate statistic I’m going to share with you is that only 25% of these children get help for their mood disorder. This is sad, and leads to problems not only for the child, but for his family and possibly others.

So, what causes mood disorders like depression and anxiety??  Chemical (neurotransmitter) imbalances in the brain are the organic cause of depression and anxiety.  These chemical imbalances can be caused by genetics, environment, and negative thought processes.  A child that is constantly surrounded by negative will have a negative thinking pattern.  A child that is surrounded by positive feelings and actions will grow up with a more positive outlook.  Children at risk for mood disorders are children that are in high stress environments.  Children worry about  peer acceptance, pressure to try drugs/drinking/sex, bullying, parental expectations, family dysfunction (arguing, divorce, etc.), normal development, school/grades, acne, and future plans, just to name a few. This is an awful lot for children to deal with while they are still learning who they are.  Teaching children to cope helps them deal with all of the stressors that they encounter.  Children that are unable to cope with stressors may act out, feel anxious, depressed, worried, down, hopeless, angry, irritable, overwhelmed, burnt out, causing  difficulty thinking, problems sleeping, headaches, and stomach aches.  This unhappiness frequently leads to depression, anxiety, substance abuse, sexual promiscuity, anger issues, violence, obesity and other health problems. So, how do we teach kids to cope??  It doesn’t happen overnight.

Coping skill for you to share with your children:

  • talk about what is going on in their world and about their thoughts and feelings
  • developing a support network of family and friends
  • live a healthy lifestyle by eating healthy, exercising, and getting enough sleep
  • write in a journal
  • change negative thoughts to positive
  • approach obstacles with small steps
  • help your child anticipate events that may cause anxiety, discuss ways to help your child feel better during these times before they happen

Helping your child build good coping skills will help to build self-confidence and increase self-esteem. Allowing children time for free thinking is important. I’ve started calling this “creative time” in our house, as this unstructured time allows creativity.  When left to explore their environment, they imagine something, and they create it. Job accomplished! It’s all about baby steps…. My kids get 30-90 minutes of free time before bed most nights.  They play in their room and do whatever they want.  Joshua is expected to find time to practice his guitar and drums, and likes to find time to read as well.  My kids love their free “creative time”.

Setting goals, formulating a plan to meet those goals, and accomplishing those goals is one of the best self esteem building experience for anyone. Accomplishment feels great!  It provides feelings of capability and confidence, and it is motivating as well.

If you have concerns that a child or teen close to you is depressed or having trouble coping, please help them get help. Sometimes listening and helping lead someone in the right direction is the most important step to helping them see a brighter future.

As you continue on this parenting journey, create goals, follow through, enjoy the feeling of accomplishment, and be an example for your children!

Remember, to succeed, you must first have a plan…

I will explore more issues with child and teen depression and anxiety in future posts.  Please click on the FOLLOW button on the right side of my page to receive updates.