Pediatric Mental Health

Hey kids, that extra hour was supposed to be for sleep…

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / 1 Comment

Yay, an extra hour of sleep!! Well, that is unless you have kids (or pets) that are on a schedule and can’t tell time. Most of us are thrilled to have an extra hour of sleep when Daylight Saving comes to an end and we “Fall Back.” I learned early along my parenting journey that the time change can wreak havoc on a child with a good schedule. Good parenting involves schedules, so most kids will have some adjustment to make. Most kids have an internal clock, and it’s not necessarily the same as the time on your wall. Making the change can be difficult for many kids and their family.

One way to help minimize the difficulties is to change your child’s schedule in small increments, not an hour all in one day. Change your child’s schedule by 15 minutes at a time. 

Take bedtime for example: If your child typically goes to bed at 8pm, they are going to start melting down around 7. Change their bedtime to 7:15 for a few nights. Then, make bedtime 7:30, a few nights later 7:45, then finally back to 8 a few nights later.

Personally, I am going to enjoy the time change most when I get up for work tomorrow and it isn’t dark outside. There may be challenges during the day and especially in the evening, but the sun coming up an hour earlier will make getting my kids up a little easier. On the flip side, it will make outside playtime after school shorter, meaning less time for the kids to ‘get their wiggles out.’

Every stage of raising kids has it’s challenges. So, I have a small anecdote for those of you with kids that were up too early for you to enjoy your extra hour. Watch out when they do learn to tell time… When Joshua first learned to tell time, I tried to get him to bed a little earlier. He told me that the clock didn’t say 8:00, so it wasn’t his bedtime yet! That took a little extra time and some coersion…. So, enjoy the days when they don’t tell time, the next stage is equally challenging.

I hope all of you get to put that extra hour to good use and find time to spend it Enjoying the Journey!

Helping Children Deal with Disaster

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / 1 Comment

With all of the news coverage of Hurricane Sandy, aka “Frankenstorm” I thought I should write a post about helping children deal with natural disasters.

So, how can you help your child go through a stressful event and minimize worry and concern?

  • The most important thing to do is stay calm. Children look to the adults around them for support and comfort. Often, parents will appear anxious, worried, and constantly talk about their fears and “what if…” scenarios. When a child is exposed to these behaviors, they will most likely be more anxious and worried as well.
  • Turn the TV OFF! Watching images of destroyed property, angry weather, and listening to hyped up newscasters will only increase a child’s concern. Watch a family movie or play a family game instead.
  • Talk to your child about their fears and concerns. Children will often be worried about things because they have exaggerated or irrational predictions about what may happen.
  • If there are serious injuries or losses, make sure your child knows what is going on. Children that don’t know the reality of a situation will often assume the worse.
  • Encourage your child to ask you any questions they want. Discuss what they are worried about, the unknown can be scary.
  • Find time for friends. Having life return to normal as soon as possible can be the best way to help your child understand that things will be ok!
  • Spend time together, this will make your child feel comfortable and secure.
  • Remember, children are resilient, they often persevere during times of stress and turmoil!
  • Encourage your child to journal or draw to deal with their feelings.
  • Continue to practice habits for good health. Get adequate sleep, exercise and make sure you eat well. Taking care of your body in times of stress is important. For tips on nutrition, check out my post, Let them eat cake… for breakfast?

Helping children through times of high anxiety can be challenging. Recognizing that your child is having difficulty dealing with a situation is not always easy. Symptoms of stress and anxiety can present in multiple ways, such as: bad dreams, insomnia, bed wetting, not eating well, not wanting to venture away from a parent/caregiver, stomach aches, headaches, not wanting to play with friends, difficulty concentrating, difficulty in school, or even irritability. If your child seems to be having lingering effects for a prolonged period of time, I would recommend seeing your primary care provider. Children can have Acute Stress Syndrome, which occurs immediately or within a month of the precipitating even. Children can  suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome if the fear and anxiety symptoms last for weeks or months.

If you and your family had to endure the weather challenges of Hurricane Sandy, I hope you came through it without any serious injuries or damages. It sure was  one heck of a storm, definitely one for the record books. Going through natural disasters is an unfortunate part of life. It is part of the journey we could all do without!

Hopefully this part of your journey will be put behind you quickly, and make you and your children stronger on the flip side.

Anxiety in children and teens….could it be their environment?

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

Can children suffer from anxiety? YES, absolutely!

Can it interfere with everyday life and their overall well being? Again, YES, absolutely!!!

Do they tell us they are anxious?? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Children and teens are not able to recognize signs and symptoms of anxiety. Most children are not mature enough to verbalize these unknown, uncontrollable and scary feelings. Often anxiety can be related to the child’s environment. It may be their home environment, school environment, or another environment such as sports, church, school bus, etc. It is not usually an easy diagnosis, nor is it easy for the parents to reach out for help. Often times, the parents may have anxiety issues as well. I have talked with many children that have anxiety issues, and find that more than half of them have one or both parents with anxiety issues. Some of these children have issues because of the parents anxiety. Some of these children have issues because of other problems related to their family, such as lack of good parenting skills, loss of a loved one, loss of a parent to divorce or death, an ill family member, or a recent stressful event. Just as often, this anxiety could be from an environment outside of the home, the issue could be bullying in school, traumatic events in the news, severe weather situations, an inappropriate or abusive relationship by a trusted adult, a stressful event at school or in the in the local community, natural disasters, and many other situations.

What does anxiety look like?? Anxiety in children and adolescents can present as shyness, fearfulness, acting out, impulsive behavior, sleep problems, headaches, stomach aches, restlessness, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscle tension, chest pain, shortness of breath, and just an all over feeling of discomfort. The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) describes anxiety as “the fearful anticipation of further danger or problems accompanied by an intense unpleasant feeling (dysphoria) or physical symptoms.” Anxiety is more common in children and adolescents than we realize. Statistics show that only 25% of childhood anxiety is actually diagnosed. That means there are A LOT of children out there dealing with more than they can handle, and they DO NOT know how to ask for help!

So, what can you do to help children with anxiety issues?

  • Write or draw in a journal daily.
  • Spend time together. Quality and quantity of time matter.
  • Exercise at least 3-4 days a week.
  • Eat 3 balanced meals a day.
  • Play an instrument.
  • Talk about fears/concerns.
  • Get adequate sleep. (See my post about sleep: Sleep is Crucial for Healthy Development)
  • Talk to your child’s primary care provider to determine if medicine is necessary for your child.

Anxiety can affect any child at any time. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Recognizing anxiety in children is not always easy. Figuring out why a child is anxious can be quite challenging as well. Working closely with a professional can help you help your child.

In the next couple weeks, I will be cramming for my mental health certification. (All prayers are welcome! Thanks!) I am hoping to work more closely with children that have mental health challenges such as anxiety. These children are often mislabeled as shy, uncooperative, having ADHD or behavior problems. Talking to the right professional can make all the difference in how well the child is able to manage and cope with this challenging disorder. My goal will be to help these children and their families deal with and overcome these overwhelming feelings. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send me an email.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll continue to say it… PARENTING IS THE HARDEST JOB YOU WILL EVER HAVE!!! No doubt about it. Regardless of the challenges, your child will always be worth the efforts you put into being a good parent.

I hope this bit of insight helps you Enjoy the journey! 🙂

Effective Parenting… Important for all kids, but especially important for raising kids with ADHD!

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

Effective parenting takes time and effort, no doubt about it!!

For kids with ADHD, effective parenting is a must whether these kids are medicated or not medicated.

This information will be useful for all parents, not just those raising ADHD kids…

Does the child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) need to be medicated?? Yes and No… that’s clear as mud, huh? First, it’s crucial to make sure that what you are dealing with is ADHD! Many children will present with symptoms that might appear to be ADHD, but are actually symptoms of other disorders. ADHD can present  differently for different kids. Yes, there are the classic symptoms, but not all children are as obvious as others. For diagnostic information about ADHD, check out my post, Hyperactive or Just Busy…Could your child have ADHD?

If it’s not ADHD, what else could it be? Some disorders that may present as ADHD could be anxiety, depression, lead poisoning, thyroid dysfunction, vision problems, food allergies/sensitivities, sleep apnea or something else entirely. Making sure your child has the appropriate evaluation is the first step to proper treatment.

I see many preschool age children that are brought in by their parents for behavior problems, it’s most frequently boys vs. girls. I’ve mentioned in previous posts that both boys and girls can have ADHD, but boys are diagnosed 2:1 over girls. I always say that God made boys to hunt and gather, not sit still for 8 hours. 😉 Perfect example – I saw a little boy this week for behavior problems, he is 3 years old and his mother thinks he has ADHD. The first thing I do is ask why the parent thinks the child has ADHD? Jason’s mom reported that he got in trouble in preschool A LOT, was biting other kids, was constantly in time-out, talks non-stop, and his dad has ADHD. After meeting with Jason and his mom, I think he might have ADHD, but at 3 years old I NEVER label a kid as ADHD. And, I would NEVER medicate a 3 year old for attention problems or hyperactivity; 3 yr olds are supposed to be active and have a very short attention span. If a child this young presents with problems, he needs a though neuro-psych evaluation!

There are many interventions that I recommend for young children with behavior issues that resemble ADHD. These interventions can make a huge difference for a family, and must be consistent! These interventions take time and effort on the part of parents. They are useful for all kids of all ages, but especially necessary for kids with ADHD. Many of these interventions are just good, effective parenting:

  • Routine is unbelievably important. Doing things according to a schedule helps a child learn what to anticipate day after day. Using lists or pictures can be helpful to remind children what they are responsible for and keep them on task.
  • Make sure the rules are clear and followed consistently. If you have rules that are only enforced some of the time, the child will not know when they do or don’t have to follow the rules. This leads to frustration for the child and the parent. And, needless to say, inconsistent results!
  • Give the kids something to be responsible for…this could be helping to take care of pets, taking out the trash, or other chores around the house. This helps the child feel important, learn responsibility, and also builds self-esteem.
  • Praise and Positive Reinforcement is a must for disciplining all children, especially children with ADHD. Recognize & Praise good behavior and accomplishments. Just getting homework or small chores done can be challenging for children with attention issues.
  • Limit “screen time” – This includes all screens, such as TV, video games, computer, etc. Screen time should be limited to just 2-3 hours per day, and should be turned off at least 1 hour before bedtime. This isn’t hard to enforce during the school year because there is limited free time after school. It is a little more challenging during the Summer. Being more liberal with this rule during the summer is ok, just remember, you will see a difference in the child’s behavior; and it is essential to get back into a school routine a week or 2 before school actually starts.
  • Have a good bedtime routine with an acceptable bedtime. Kids in preschool and early elementary grades should be in bed by 7:30-8:30, upper elementary should be 8:30-9, middle school 9-9:30, and high school should be between 9-10. For more information about sleep, please see my blog, Sleep is Crucial for Healthy Development. A tired child has trouble focusing, paying attention, and retaining information. For preschool aged children, there is a significant correlation between hyperactive and impulsive behavior and short sleep duration.
  • Watch what your child is eating, 3 healthy meals and snacks are important for good brain function. Adding essential fatty acids to a child’s diet helps promote good brain function. Eliminate artificial food dyes (AFDs) from the child’s diet. AFDs have been proven to increase hyperactivity in the majority of children. A study done in Great Britain in 2006 documented that 75% of children demonstrated hyperactive behavior correlated with ingestion of AFDs and Sodium Benzoate. I have recommended this intervention to many families, and received many Thank You’s because it makes such an obvious difference in the child’s behavior. I firmly believe that AFDs should be eliminated from our food supply altogether. AFDs have been outlawed in Canada, Britain, Germany and a few other countries.
  • If your child has allergies, treat allergies with a daily allergy medication. Allergies can make ADHD worse! Allergies are a hypersensitivity, ADHD is a hypersensitive state…1+1=2, it’s that simple.
  • Exercise, exercise, exercise! Physical activity helps to regulate the neurotransmitters that are dysfunctional in those with ADHD. Tell your kids to run around the house a few laps before dinnertime, it gets the wiggles out.
  • Whatever they are good at, encourage it! Whether their forte’ is math, sports or building things, encourage it! Without our multitasking, intelligent ADHDers, we would not have telephones, airplanes, or many of the inventions and discoveries we take for granted everyday. My above mentioned ADHD post expands on this, check it out!

Do I think these interventions will keep a truly ADHD kid from needing medication? Probably not, it depends on the severity of the ADHD. If I child has mild symptoms, the above interventions may be beneficial enough to avoid the need for meds. If a child has moderate to severe ADHD, they will need medication along with the above interventions.

I can’t expresses how important these “effective parenting” interventions can be, even for those children that need medication. Medication alone will not be enough for a child with true ADHD.

I’ve had many parents come back to me and tell me how much these interventions have helped make their life better. I can tell you personally, that they do make a difference in our family. I’ve shared Joshua’s story with you, he is the definition of Inattention and Hyperactive. If you haven’t read Parenting = Biggest Rewards + Most Frustrating Job You Will EVER Have!!, check it out for a little more insight on raising Josh. Joshua literally spun in circles for many years during his early childhood prior to the elimination of AFDs from his diet. I used to refer to him as Taz, the Tasmanian Devil. After a few days with no AFDs, the spinning stopped!! It was unreal!! It turned my little Tasmanian Devil back into a sweet, funny, and interesting little boy. He was still busy, but it was obvious that he had more control over his behavior.

Children with ADHD take extra time and effort, but the extra parenting will pay off someday when they are able to accomplish their goals. The time and effort will build self-esteem, intellect, and help your child grow to be the healthy and happy person you will always be proud of.

All kids take lots of parenting effort and energy. Each child comes with their own unique challenges, no doubt about it. Being the parent of an ADHD kid will take more patiences, time and effort than parenting the average kid. Your efforts will pay off though, I promise!!

Whatever parenting challenges you face, I hope you always remember to ENJOY THE JOURNEY!

Small Dose #13 – Getting the “Wild Things” back to a Sleep Routine

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

HI! I wanted to write a short post to help you get those kiddos back into a bedtime routine before school starts.

It’s fun to hang with the “Wild Things” during the summer!

If you are anything like us, your kids have had a liberal or non-existant sleep schedule during summer. That is one of the fun things about summer when you are a kid!!

I recommend getting back into some sort of routine 1 -2 weeks before school actually starts. Kids don’t automatically just go to bed at 8:30 if they have been able to stay up until 10:00 for a few months.

So, here is my advice for getting things back on schedule:

1. Start your kids on a consistent bedtime. Pick whatever their average bedtime has been.

2. Every 2-3 nights make that bedtime earlier by 15 or 20 minutes, i.e.: start at 10pm a few nights, after 2 nights make it 9:45, then a few nights later make it 9:30, etc…

3. Turn the TV OFF!! If I teach you nothing else, please understand how important it is for kids to have about an hour of “No Screens” before they go to bed. They can look at a book, take a warm bath, play quietly in their room, anything that is relaxing for them. NO TV, ipad, Computer, video games, etc. This is the perfect opportunity to get them back into reading.

4. Make the routine before bed consistent. I’ve mentioned my “bath, book, bed” mantra in my blog on sleep. Kids function best when they have a consistent routine.

5. Tell ’em you love ’em, xoxo, and then it’s Lights Out!

For more information on kid’s sleep, please check out my blog Sleep is Crucial for Healthy Development.

I hope you and your family have enjoyed the summer and have been able to spend some quality family time together.

Remember, it’s all about Enjoying the Journey!! 😉

Sleep is Crucial for Healthy Development

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / 3 Comments

Amount and quality of sleep impacts children in every aspect imaginable. Sleep is crucial for proper growth and development, as well as daily functioning. Sleep is essential for neural development, and even a modest decrease in adequate sleep can decrease cognitive ability. According to The Journal of Developmental and Pediatric Behavior, there is a link between preschoolers who sleep less than 10 hours a day and behavior problems.  There is a significant correlation between hyperactive and impulsive behavior and short sleep duration.

I meet many parents that don’t understand the importance of sleep. I have parents bring their kids in to be evaluated for ADHD  and one of the first things we discuss is sleep. If a child is having sleep problems, we need to help correct the sleep issues before thinking about ADHD as the problem, it could be sleep deprivation.

Some parents will tell me their child goes to bed when they get tired. REALLY?? I’m thinking this doesn’t usually go over well. This may work on rare occasions when the child goes to bed at a reasonable time and is following the bodies natural sleep signals. Most children have a natural “window” when they will exhibit signs of sleepiness; rubbing eyes, slowing of activity, etc. If the child doesn’t go to bed during this time, they have an adrenaline rush, which keeps them up for a few more hours, and way past their bedtime!

Children should be expected to sleep in their own bed, and have a good bedtime ritual and schedule from a very young age. Good sleep hygiene makes all the difference as children grow and develop into adulthood. I’m not an advocate of co-sleeping. It may work for some families, but most of the time, the kids disturb the parents, and the parents disturb the kids. I’m all for early morning cuddling, after everyone has had a good nights sleep.

Getting an inadequate amount of sleep actually leads to nighttime wakening. For a child that is having trouble sleeping through the night, it is important to make sure the child is actually getting enough sleep. When children are tired, they will actually show signs of hyperactivity and irritability rather than signs of being tired.

Are their medical reasons that a child may not sleep well?? YES!! Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) often have trouble falling asleep because they have trouble turning their brain off. When it comes to sleep and ADHD, each affects the other… ADHD can interfere with sleep, and sleep can make ADHD worse! Talk about a double edged sword…  When Josh was a baby we put him to bed with classical music for the first 2 years of his life, this worked wonders, but he decided he didn’t want it anymore when he was 2. Now, we use a “white noise” machine. If you are worried you child may have ADHD, check out my post Hyperactive or just busy…Could your child have ADHD?

Another medical problem that could interfere with adequate sleep is sleep apnea. Children that have allergies, causing swollen tonsils and adenoids, can have sleep apnea. For allergy info, check out Springtime & Sneezes…You might have allergies if… Children that  suffer from obesity are also high-risk for sleep apnea. Obesity can cause many other medical problems that I will address in a future post.

So, what can we do as parents to help our children get adequate sleep??

  • A good bedtime routine can help; bath, book, then bed is a common mantra of mine.
  • Read before bed, but read books for pleasure, or magazines, things that are of interest to the child. I love going into Joshua’s room at night and finding him asleep on top of his book! 🙂
  • Nightlights are helpful for young kids that have fears related to the dark, making it difficult for them to fall asleep.
  • NO TVs in the bedroom!! This cannot be emphasized enough, NO TV IN THE BEDROOM!!
  • Turn off all screens (TV, computer, ipod, phone texting, etc.) 1 hour before lights out.
  • a “white noise” machine, this is my kids favorite! You can get them with different sounds: rain, ocean, rain forest, waterfall, summer night, etc.

A child that doesn’t get enough sleep will be at risk for behavior problems, decreased immune function, increased irritability, inability to play independently, inability to learn from the environment, and interference with proper growth and development.  Lack of sleep can also increase a child’s risk for obesity, depression, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease.  It can also affect emotional well-being, performance, productivity, and cognitive ability. 

When I tell you about kids and sleep problems, I’m telling you not only from education but from experience. Joshua has had trouble falling asleep since he was a toddler.  Does it have anything to do with his ADHD? I’m sure it does. He could be the perfect case study of a child with proper sleep and then without.  He can be such a sweet, intelligent, polite, mannerly, inquisitive, interesting, funny guy. With no sleep, he turns into the Tasmanian devil.  He is whiny, irritable, fatigued, twirling his hair, and literally twirls in circles.  Wow, what a difference sleep can make. I have no doubt that Josh gets his sleep issues from genetics as well, I have problems with sleep sometimes too. My problems are because of a disease called fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia severely impacts one’s sleep. Inadequate sleep makes fibromyalgia worse. Interesting how all of these medical conditions have a reciprocal impact on one’s sleep and one’s health.

Sleep is important for all of us! Make it a priority for your children and it will make your parenting journey a little bit easier…Promise! 😉

Sweet Dreams and don’t forget to Enjoy the Journey!

One way to make ’em smile… Pets!

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

I have to tell you about the latest additions to our family! We brought home 2 little kittens today!! Drew and Josh are so excited! They chased the babies around the house for the first hour; until they realized that it would work better to sit and let the babies come to them. Initially, we planned on getting Drew a kitten for her birthday a few weeks ago. As we waited the couple weeks the kittens needed to get bigger before leaving the shelter, we decided we needed 2! Getting a pet for each kid in the house sounded like a better idea. Yes, dogs are nice, but, we don’t have the time at home that a dog requires right now, and in the past we have contemplated gerbils or hamsters. We have even had a few fish and hermit crabs, but that didn’t end well. Kittens are what we decided would fit best into our family.

Every kid needs a pet! It teaches a little bit of responsibility. Yes, I know I will be the one doing all the work, but a Mom can dream can’t she. 😉 Pets also give unconditional love, what more could we ask for!?! When children are stressed or down, a pet can be great therapy. Having a companion that is always there with unconditional love is very heartwarming. Having a loving pet to cuddle with can help improve self esteem and self confidence, that’s a win-win situation. And, having a kitten to snuggle and cuddle with really does make the kids smile! Drew has been giggling for hours now. Tonight, Josh and Drew are both in their respective beds, with kittens laying next to them, it’s just priceless!!

Josh has decided to name his kitten “Kwai”. This is a slant from Kawai, which means “cute” in Japanese. Josh is my out of the box thinker, so researching a name took days for him. I must emphasize the word research, because that is exactly what he did. He spent time on the computer looking up different words and their meanings. Josh has taken to Japanese ever since his fascination with Bey Blades, I’m sure most mothers of boys can relate to this phase. Josh has decided he wants to learn Japanese, and I guess this is the beginning…

Drew named her kitten “Jules”. This came from one of her favorite movies, Rio. There is a bird named “Jewel” in the Rio movie. She has asked for a blue macaw, but, that just wasn’t going to happen. We told her the bird would be living here longer than she would. So, when she first started talking about names she came up with Julie. This was very interesting because we live on property that my great-grandfather first purchased and developed in the late 1930’s, and his wife’s name was Julia. Coincidence?? hummm?? I think not… makes you wonder, now doesn’t it. Well, it makes me wonder who is still wondering around this place! It warms my heart and makes me smile. My cousin, Julie, who lives 3,000 miles away in Cali thinks it’s just a great name. You can guess where her name came from, now can’t ya?

Well, all I can say is, adding a pet to the family is a great idea. I’ve been wanting to do it for a while, but the timing hadn’t been right until recently. Me getting my masters, kids too young, but now that the kids are 6 and 10, it works perfectly. And, as I said, one way to make ’em smile is to get a pet! Kids love animals, and animals (usually) love kids. They just go great together, kind of like peanut butter and jelly. So, as you travel along this exciting journey called parenthood, Get A Pet!! Get whatever pet works for your family, it really doesn’t matter what it is to the kids. You will be glad you did, and your kids will be glad you did too! Just ask anyone that has a pet, and they will agree, no doubt about it!

So, if you want to make ’em smile….Get a Pet for the family to enjoy!!

As always, I’m hoping you Enjoy the Journey!! 😉

Small Dose #11 – Just 10-15 minutes a day…

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

SPENDING TIME WITH YOUR CHILD IS THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO AS A PARENT!!

The one thing I keep seeing in my practice is children that aren’t getting enough time with Mom and/or Dad.  It is so obvious that kids just want to spend time with their parents. These children are sad and looking for attention, or are uncommunicative and withdrawn. I had a 10 year old come to her annual physical without a parent and ask me if I would like to go to her Talent Show. I almost cried. A 7 year old patient with behavior issues told Mom the one thing he would like the most as his reward for good behavior is time with Dad. Again, I had to hold back the tears….

When I see children that are happy, it correlates to time spent with Mom and/or Dad. When I come across kids that are not doing well, it seems to go back to no  1 on 1 time or not enough 1 on 1 time with their parents.

It is absolutely essential that kids get Mom and Dad’s time and attention every day.

Time spent together makes kids happier, healthier, more able to cope and builds self esteem. It takes as little as 10-15 minutes a day to make an impact on your child’s world. Time together decreases the chances of depression, anxiety, eating disorders and substance abuse.

Sure, there are many things that parents have to get done in a day, but time with children and family MUST be a priority! It doesn’t matter if you play a game, toss a ball around, go for a walk, or just sit down and talk. For ideas about what to do when you are together check out Being Together is Most Important

So, make time to be together every day! This will ensure that you and your children enjoy the journey! 🙂

Being Together is Most Important

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / 2 Comments

Hi all, lately I haven’t had time to do much blogging, and figured I better catch up just a little. In the Springtime, there is just so much to do, but remembering to take time for yourself and your family is important! As a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner, I am very committed to keeping kids healthy, and the mental health of our children is just as important (if not more) than physical health. Make sure you take time to smell the roses with your family. Sometimes we need to schedule “unscheduled” time, which I wrote about in Leave the Schedule behind and Enjoy Family Time. When I think of what kinds of things the family can do to spend time together, the first thing I think of is planting flowers or a garden. This can be a task that requires time and attention for weeks to come, but the pay offs are BIG! It’s exciting and rewarding for kids to watch something grow and see the fruits of their labor! I LOVE to plant flowers, I’ll be sure to post some pictures after all the hard work is done.

Just a reminder – your kids just want to be with you! Giving yourself and your time is the best gift you can give your child. The love and attention of a parent builds trust, self confidence, and self-esteem!

My Family
(photo compliments of In His Grace Photography)

I thought I would make a list of some of the things that the family can do to spend time together:

  • plant flowers or a garden
  • go for a bike ride
  • go for a nature hike
  • prepare a meal together, homemade pizza is always a hit 😉
  • bake cookies (plain sugar cookies can lead to fun and creative decorating too)
  • have a picnic
  • play at the beach
  • go swimming
  • play a game; board games, charades, soccer, golf, the possibilities are endless
  • put a puzzle together
  • sing a song together
  • volunteer
  • draw or paint a picture
  • look at family pictures or make a new scrapbook
  • go camping, even if it’s in the backyard
  • fly a kite
  • visit friends or relatives
  • visit an amusement park
  • go bowling
  • read a story aloud for the whole family to enjoy
  • Just be together!!
What are some things that your family likes to do to spend quality time together?

Life is about enjoying the journey, not reaching a destination! Now, off to the flower shop, so we can make the yard beautiful! 🙂

Small Dose #10 – Take it back…

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

Have you ever said something and then immediately thought, I wish I could take that back?? I’m guessing your answer is Yes! 

We have all had those moments when we wish we could take back something we said.  I was chatting with a friend yesterday about the unfortunate reality that kids say things before they think, at least ours do. She introduced me to a cool parenting concept she calls “Take Backs”.    

Kellie told me when her kids say something that is inappropriate or out of line, she will look at them and give them a chance to take it back.  Her kids get only 1 “take back” a day. This gives them a chance to think about what they have said. If the behavior continues, all bets are off, and it’s mean mom time… Mean Moms are the best Moms is a post I wrote a few weeks ago. Mean Mom techniques are crucial for raising responsible, independent kids.

I think “take backs” is a wonderful idea. What a progressive, 21st century parenting tip, and it works!! If you ever met her kids, you would know they are being raised by a pretty good (single) mom. She says as a single mom she has to set guidelines, and stick to them. Her kids know that she means what she says! I think giving kids an opportunity to think about what they have said helps them learn to take some responsibility, and helps them build confidence and self esteem.

I thought this was a great idea, and wanted to share it with all of you! I think it could be especially helpful for my impulsive ADHD’er! I’ll be sure to share a few of her other secrets in future posts.

Good luck along your journey, and remember, we all say things we wish we could take back. Maybe focusing on this “take backs” concept will help our children actually think before they speak…Now wouldn’t that be nice! 😉