Author: Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC

Summer Safety Rule #1 – Always, Always, Always keep an eye on kids around water!!

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / 2 Comments

Photo from Confession’s of a Dr. Mom blog post: “In the blink of an eye”

The story is always the same – “I only looked away for a second…” and the end of the story is complete tragedy. I couldn’t write a better post myself about how important Water Safety is for children, so I am sharing a post from Confessions of a Dr. Mom. NO ONE wants to live through the loss of a child by drowning.

When Drew was about 3 she wanted to “show off” for some colleagues I had over for an evening around the pool. She proceeded to go down the ladder in the deep end of our pool, saying, “Watch me swim!” Only problem, she couldn’t swim yet!! I was inside getting supplies for our evening and when I came out, my friend Abby was climbing out of the pool with her. It took less than a second worth of discussion from the adults to realize that Drew wasn’t able to swim. She swam a few feet away from the ladder, and then started to SINK!

There are so many stories about kids that just narrowly miss drowning because someone was being vigilant. There are too many stories about children that weren’t so lucky.

DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOUR FAMILY! BE VIGILANT!

I read a blog by a pediatrician that shares some lifesaving advice. Melissa shares some great “Water Safety Rules”. Read her post  In the Blink of an eye, it is truly eye opening!! Thanks for sharing such great advice, Melissa!

Toddlers need constant attention, the “touch” rule is a good one! Don’t let a split second mistake ruin your Journey!

Small Dose #11 – Just 10-15 minutes a day…

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

SPENDING TIME WITH YOUR CHILD IS THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO AS A PARENT!!

The one thing I keep seeing in my practice is children that aren’t getting enough time with Mom and/or Dad.  It is so obvious that kids just want to spend time with their parents. These children are sad and looking for attention, or are uncommunicative and withdrawn. I had a 10 year old come to her annual physical without a parent and ask me if I would like to go to her Talent Show. I almost cried. A 7 year old patient with behavior issues told Mom the one thing he would like the most as his reward for good behavior is time with Dad. Again, I had to hold back the tears….

When I see children that are happy, it correlates to time spent with Mom and/or Dad. When I come across kids that are not doing well, it seems to go back to no  1 on 1 time or not enough 1 on 1 time with their parents.

It is absolutely essential that kids get Mom and Dad’s time and attention every day.

Time spent together makes kids happier, healthier, more able to cope and builds self esteem. It takes as little as 10-15 minutes a day to make an impact on your child’s world. Time together decreases the chances of depression, anxiety, eating disorders and substance abuse.

Sure, there are many things that parents have to get done in a day, but time with children and family MUST be a priority! It doesn’t matter if you play a game, toss a ball around, go for a walk, or just sit down and talk. For ideas about what to do when you are together check out Being Together is Most Important

So, make time to be together every day! This will ensure that you and your children enjoy the journey! 🙂

Hand, Foot and Mouth…..and Butt??

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

I’ve been on call this weekend, and gotten quite a few calls about fevers and rashes that sound like Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease. This illness is very common during the Spring and Summer months, is highly contagious, and very common among young children. For those of you that are wondering, is this the same thing as Foot and Mouth Disease? NO, totally different!!!

Hand, Foot and Mouth is a Coxsackievirus that causes bumps, blisters, and/or ulcers 

  on the hands, the feet,

in and around the mouth, 

and Yes, on the buttocks and backs of the legs. 

The bumps that appeared on the backside and back of the legs of a toddler is what prompted one of the calls from a Mom this weekend. Actually, the only symptoms that this child had were fever and red throat when he was seen in the office. Over the past 24 hours, the bumps on the buttocks and back of the legs appeared. So far, there is no hand or foot rash involved. All cases of Hand, Foot and Mouth present differently, not everyone gets the typical rash. Some kids will only have a fever and sores in the mouth, and possibly go undiagnosed.

This virus is spread via direct contact with nose and throat secretions, saliva, fluid from blisters, or the stools. Most people will get Hand, Foot and Mouth as a child, and then more than likely never get it again. The incubation period is about 3-7 days.  Most parents will not get the virus because they were exposed as children. Although, I do know of one mom that got it, and got it pretty bad. Ouch!!

Hand, Food, and Mouth starts with a fever, and usually the fever is pretty high, up to 103’s. The fever starts prior to the arrival of the rash. During the febrile stage the child typically doesn’t want to eat. They aren’t eating because the sores in the mouth are painful. The goal of treatment during this stage is to keep the child hydrated. I highly recommend giving cold drinks, freeze pops, popsicles, pudding, yogurt, milkshakes, smoothies, etc. DO NOT give the child anything that is hot, spicy, or acidic. Orange juice, soda and pizza would be a NO NO!

There is no medicine to treat Hand, Foot and Mouth. The only thing Mom and Dad can do is keep their little one comfortable. As with any other virus, antibiotics will not help! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – Antibiotics are for bacterial infections, they will NOT get rid of viruses. Viruses are not bacteria. Keeping your child comfortable is your top priorities.

Hand, Foot and Mouth usually last about 5-7 days. Keeping the child home from daycare, school, and away from other children will help prevent the spread of disease. Unfortunately, the fever typically precedes the rash and may not be that high in the beginning, so others may be exposed accidentally.

Hand, Foot, and Mouth is one of those childhood illnesses that just about everyone gets. As parents, it’s all part of the journey. Most parents have had to deal with Hand, Foot and Mouth. Some kids will only get a mild case, and their parents won’t ever know what that fever was because the rash was only in the mouth and never observed by a practitioner for diagnosis. Those children (and parents) that experience those mild, undiagnosed cases are the lucky ones! Hand, Foot and Mouth hurts, and if you child doesn’t have to suffer through it, be thankful!!

So, if you have a child that experiences a high fever anytime soon, keep in mind it could be this painful Coxsackievirus that should be called Hand, Foot, Mouth and Butt! 

Just another part of the journey for all of us parents to suffer through. As I always say, regardless of the difficulties, I hope you enjoy the journey! 😉

Parenting = Biggest Rewards + Most Frustrating Job You Will EVER Have!!

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / 2 Comments

Have you ever had one of those days that you just don’t know what to do as a parent? I’m living it right now! I thought I would share, because writing about difficult times is therapeutic, and I thought you all would like to know none of us have all the answers! 

I thought nursing school was hard – okay, kinda…. I thought getting in shape after having a baby was hard – yes, but not so bad… I thought getting my master’s was hard – very time consuming, but not as bad as I thought.

But, let me tell you – J.O.S.H.U.A. IS THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE GOD HAS EVER PRESENTED ME WITH…EVER!

Joshua is the sweetest, most intelligent, creative, cute, silly, talkative, impulsive, disruptive, unmotivated, lackadaisical kid I’ve ever encountered!!! He is doing so well intellectually and academically; but just can’t seem to keep his mouth shut, stay in his seat, or stop himself from disrupting class.

His science teacher commented on how great he did when they dissected cow eyeballs last week. He loves science! His reading level is 12th grade, rather impressive for a 4th grader. He read the entire Harry Potter series in less than 5 months when he was 8 years old. His guitar teacher talks about how creative he is. Mike said he has students that have been taking guitar lessons for over 5 years that couldn’t create and improvise music the way Josh can; he could be the next great song writer and guitarist for Phish. He gets awesome grades on his tests and projects, even earning bonus points sometimes. This is the kid that amazed the psychologist with his IQ test scores. And, lately, he’s been watching all these science shows that talk about concepts that baffle even me, such as the sixth sense, the worm holes in outer space, and galaxies far beyond our own. Yes, I’m a Proud Mom, most of the time!

Then, the dreaded email comes, as it did today… Josh was disruptive, talkative and silly in class. AAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!! There were more details, but I won’t bore you with how he got sent to the Headmaster and had to write his teacher an apology note. :-/ This kid is so smart, he thinks he can get away with acting silly, but as long as he get good grades it’s no big deal. I just don’t know what to do with him!!! (Any suggestions are welcome.) He’s already lost all toys, electronics, and only has his musical instruments and books to occupy his time as he spends the evenings for the rest of this week in his room (his dinner will go up on a tray). I am so frustrated with him!!!

I am great at helping other people with their parenting dilemmas. I have an answer for most situations, but under my own roof I’m currently stumped!  Even his teacher (who’s been teaching for well over 20 years) says she has never met a kid like him. When he is focused, he’s exceptional, creative, and does amazing work. When he doesn’t want to do something, it’s like he’s a totally different kid. Thankfully, every teacher he’s had has been just as impressed with his intelligence, just as challenged with his behavior, but has convinced me that this kid is headed for greatness… All this parenting effort and heartache will pay off! Right???

Tomorrow he will be sorry for his behavior, will act like an angel for days, and make me sorry I’ve been mad at him. This will last just long enough for me to forget what he did, and then…. well, I don’t have to tell you, do I?? He’s a boy, and boys will be boys… and boys with ADHD are even more challenging to parent!! You can check out my ADHD blog at Hyperactive or just busy…could your child have ADHD?

Parenting is one of the toughest, most rewarding, most frustrating jobs any of us will ever have. It’s hard work, but the pay offs are big!  The time you put into it pays off, and the effort you put into your parenting will make your children better people as they grow up. Go with me on this one, it’s the only hope I have at the moment. 😉

I’m convinced that God has a plan for Joshua! I’m hopeful that he will change the world someday. My current objective is to change his behavior just enough to get him there…that’s if I don’t kill him first! My answer for now is to call in all the reinforcements I can. I’ll consult with his pediatrician, psychologist, and teachers at school. Fortunately, they are all intrigued with Joshua, and will give me all the advice and support they have to offer.

I often say “God makes them cute for a reason, it’s so we don’t kill ’em!” 😉

As the title of this post states, Parenting brings the biggest rewards and the biggest challenges most of us will ever face. Through the smiles and the tears, we still have to enjoy the journey friends!! Thanks for listening. 😉

Josh and his Fender

Creating….

Being Together is Most Important

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / 2 Comments

Hi all, lately I haven’t had time to do much blogging, and figured I better catch up just a little. In the Springtime, there is just so much to do, but remembering to take time for yourself and your family is important! As a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner, I am very committed to keeping kids healthy, and the mental health of our children is just as important (if not more) than physical health. Make sure you take time to smell the roses with your family. Sometimes we need to schedule “unscheduled” time, which I wrote about in Leave the Schedule behind and Enjoy Family Time. When I think of what kinds of things the family can do to spend time together, the first thing I think of is planting flowers or a garden. This can be a task that requires time and attention for weeks to come, but the pay offs are BIG! It’s exciting and rewarding for kids to watch something grow and see the fruits of their labor! I LOVE to plant flowers, I’ll be sure to post some pictures after all the hard work is done.

Just a reminder – your kids just want to be with you! Giving yourself and your time is the best gift you can give your child. The love and attention of a parent builds trust, self confidence, and self-esteem!

My Family
(photo compliments of In His Grace Photography)

I thought I would make a list of some of the things that the family can do to spend time together:

  • plant flowers or a garden
  • go for a bike ride
  • go for a nature hike
  • prepare a meal together, homemade pizza is always a hit 😉
  • bake cookies (plain sugar cookies can lead to fun and creative decorating too)
  • have a picnic
  • play at the beach
  • go swimming
  • play a game; board games, charades, soccer, golf, the possibilities are endless
  • put a puzzle together
  • sing a song together
  • volunteer
  • draw or paint a picture
  • look at family pictures or make a new scrapbook
  • go camping, even if it’s in the backyard
  • fly a kite
  • visit friends or relatives
  • visit an amusement park
  • go bowling
  • read a story aloud for the whole family to enjoy
  • Just be together!!
What are some things that your family likes to do to spend quality time together?

Life is about enjoying the journey, not reaching a destination! Now, off to the flower shop, so we can make the yard beautiful! 🙂

Small Dose #10 – Take it back…

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

Have you ever said something and then immediately thought, I wish I could take that back?? I’m guessing your answer is Yes! 

We have all had those moments when we wish we could take back something we said.  I was chatting with a friend yesterday about the unfortunate reality that kids say things before they think, at least ours do. She introduced me to a cool parenting concept she calls “Take Backs”.    

Kellie told me when her kids say something that is inappropriate or out of line, she will look at them and give them a chance to take it back.  Her kids get only 1 “take back” a day. This gives them a chance to think about what they have said. If the behavior continues, all bets are off, and it’s mean mom time… Mean Moms are the best Moms is a post I wrote a few weeks ago. Mean Mom techniques are crucial for raising responsible, independent kids.

I think “take backs” is a wonderful idea. What a progressive, 21st century parenting tip, and it works!! If you ever met her kids, you would know they are being raised by a pretty good (single) mom. She says as a single mom she has to set guidelines, and stick to them. Her kids know that she means what she says! I think giving kids an opportunity to think about what they have said helps them learn to take some responsibility, and helps them build confidence and self esteem.

I thought this was a great idea, and wanted to share it with all of you! I think it could be especially helpful for my impulsive ADHD’er! I’ll be sure to share a few of her other secrets in future posts.

Good luck along your journey, and remember, we all say things we wish we could take back. Maybe focusing on this “take backs” concept will help our children actually think before they speak…Now wouldn’t that be nice! 😉

Is that sore throat Strep? How to know…

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

It’s spring time, which means it’s the season for Strep Throat! Not that strep has to be in season, but spring is the most common time for strep. I’ve gotten a call today from a parent asking me if I would call in an antibiotic because her daughter has a sore throat and stomach ache. This child may very well have strep throat, but of course, I said “No.” The only way to determine if a child has strep throat is to have them evaluated, and 99.9% of the time a throat culture is needed for confirmation. I’m grateful the mom was understanding and planned on going to an urgent care facility after I spoke to her.

Symptoms of strep are sore throat, fever, headache, stomach ache, nausea, vomiting, rash, muscle aches, and petechiae on the palate.

Petechiae on the palate is usually diagnostic of strep.

Does the child always have a fever- No. Does the child always have a sore throat – No. Some kids will have no symptoms, but have a rash that presents with little red spots that are raised and feel like sandpaper. This sandpaper like rash is one of the symptoms that will cause me to forgo the culture. When children have lots of petechiae on the palate, and an extremely red throat, and usually really swollen tonsils, I don’t feel the need for a throat culture. When the throat looks this bad, it is strep and hurts to do a culture. When the throat has swollen tonsils with white spots, this is frequently, but not always strep, and a culture is needed.

I’m going to ask a favor of you – please help us! Children do not like throat cultures, but it is very important to obtain for proper diagnosis. When the parent is helpful, the culture is much easier for the child. I have had children beg their mom or dad “Don’t make me do it!!” This is when it is important as a parent to show some strength and be firm. Yes, the throat culture is necessary, please back me up!! Most kids really dislike having a throat culture done. I can’t say that I blame them, but it is a necessary evil. I often say that you would think we could figure out a better way to diagnose strep with all of the technology that we have nowadays. But, the bacteria that causes strep throat is hanging out on those tonsils.

Joshua has had strep throat twice. The last time he threw up so much I would have assumed it was a stomach virus if we hadn’t done a throat culture. The poor kid threw up for almost 8 hours, how miserable when you already have a sore throat. The first time he had strep he also had pneumonia. The poor guy had a high fever, was achy all over and was absolutely miserable! He didn’t even want to move. When he gets sick with strep, he really gets sick!

If you are worried that your child may have strep throat, please have them evaluated. Please do not ask your medical provider to just call in an antibiotic. Do not give your child an antibiotic that you have left over from a previous illness. If I child is on an antibiotic the throat culture will be negative even if they had strep throat. Also, you shouldn’t have antibiotics left over from other illnesses. When antibiotics are prescribed, they are usually meant be be given until the medication is all gone to properly treat the infection.

So, if it’s not strep, what could it be? It could be a URI, it could be allergies, it could also be mononucleosis. How do you know the difference, it’s not always easy to differentiate. It is very common for most upper respiratory infections (URI or cold) to present with a fever and sore throat. How do we know it is a virus and not strep?? Proper assessment, evaluation and culture. How do you know if it’s mono? Mono is confirmed by a blood test. Most sore throats (including mono) will go away without any treatment.

Sometimes a child can have more that one illness at a time. I spoke to a mom today that was wondering why her daughter wasn’t getting better after being on an antibiotic for strep throat (confirmed by culture) after 4 days on an antibiotic. The child started feeling worse 2 days ago. At the same time, she started with coughing and congestion. It sounds like she has a URI now, on top of strep throat, how miserable!!

(Update): This year, it seems like there are a good amount of kids testing positive for strep and the flu. That really is a double whammy! Miserable! Keep them as comfortable as you can, keep them hydrated, and have them rest as much as possible.

Strep throat can sometimes go away without treatment, but could cause complications if not treated appropriately. Some of the complications of strep throat could be quite serious, such as rheumatic fever, scarlet fever, and glomerulonephritis. This is why it is very important for proper diagnosis and treatment.

If your child has strep, 10 days of Amoxicillin is the best treatment. Traditionally speaking, strep throat is contagious for 24 hours after starting the antibiotic. More recent information states that it is contagious as long as the child has fever and/or a sore throat. Sometime it takes a few days for the sore throat to feel better. Treat your child with Tylenol or Motrin for fever and pain relief. You can find the links to Tyelnol and Motrin dosing in the sidebar on this page.

So, the next time your pride and joy has a sore throat, make an appointment with your doctor or nurse practitioner, and ask for a throat culture. Hopefully, I have helped you understand why we need to gag your child when we suspect strep. 😉

As challenging as it can be, I hope you are enjoying the journey! 🙂

We MUST make them strong!!! Survival Skills for Raising a Daughter!

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / Leave a comment

Oh my, friends! Today, I had a 16 year old patient that I am worried may be in an abusive relationship…  I want those of you that have daughters to understand how important it is to make sure they are physically and emotionally healthy enough to make it in this difficult society!

I’d like to share a list of things I have come up with to help us all raise strong, capable, confident, and emotionally secure daughters!

Here are a few tips:

  • Teach Do unto others, this is the ultimate golden rule! Treat her with respect and set the example when dealing with others!

    My girl

    My girl

  • Always tell your daughter that she is beautiful! Let her know that the most important beauty is on the inside!  
  • Always use manners! ‘Yes, please’ and ‘No, thank you’ show kindness and respect!
  • Communicate openly! Talk to your daughter often, and let her know you are always there to listen. Regardless of what she tells you, never act surprised, anything and everything is open for discussion. Remember, if she doesn’t talk to you, she will talk to someone else.
  • Explain that everyone has flaws, that is what makes us all human. As a parent, set an example, don’t criticize yourself or your self image. Children often follow in our footsteps.
  • Encourage her to pick the right friends. The “cool” girls are only cool if they are nice to other people. Teach your daughter that true friends respect her choices and decisions and won’t make her feel inferior or left out.
  • Encourage involvement in sports and other group activities. Sports, playing an instrument, girl scouts, etc. teaches life skills and builds self confidence.
  • Teach your daughter to dress appropriately. It is best to leave what is underneath covered up, only to be discovered by someone that truly cares and respects her.
  • Limit social media! Today’s children can be cruel, and social media is an easy outlet for bullying.
  • Encourage your daughter to speak for herself. Don’t speak for her! Allowing her to speak and express herself prepares her for the future.
  • Teach your daughter that knowledge is power. Doing well in school really does pay off when it comes time to prepare for the future.
  • Encourage her to Read!! Reading makes you smarter!
  • Encourage her to bring her friends home to meet you. This will pay off when the boyfriends start coming around. Meeting your daughter’s friends is crucial to knowing what is going on in her world.

These are just some suggestions, please feel free to let me know of any suggestions you have to help us all raise healthy and happy young women!

Now, let me tell you why I felt so strongly about sharing this information with you. I am hopeful that Janie isn’t in as bad a situation that I fear she may be….

Janie came in because she had an “eye that was bruised” from hitting it on a table picking up her baby’s bottle. Janie is 16, has a 4 month old daughter, and was brought in by her fiance, aka, her baby daddy. When I first walked into the room Janie didn’t say a word, but the guy with her asked “how long would she look like that?” I informed him that bruises can take a couple weeks to go away. He immediately said that he needed me to write a note to keep her out of school for a week or two until this went away, because “he had a reputation to uphold!” Red flags immediately went off in my mind!! HE had a reputation to uphold… I refused to write an excuse to keep her out of school for something that is not contagious. Her education was important, and this bruise did not interfere with her learning. I continued, saying that appearances are not how we judge people. Someone’s value and self worth is not from outward appearances, but from what they can give to those around them and their community. He shrugged, and gave me a “humph” and it was obvious he didn’t like my answers. Janie proceed to tell me she had a little bit of pressure and watering from the eye, but otherwise was fine. Her fiance proceeded to tell me that he was going to move Janie a few states away to where his family was after she finished high school. At this point, all kinds of warning bells were going off in my head.  I had to figure out a way to talk to Janie one on one!!

I was worried that Janie was in an abusive relationship! How could I help???  I’m not sure why, but Janie’s fiance left the room, and I took my opportunity. I told Janie I had looked up the ER report and was not worried that there was something serious going on with her eye. I did ask her if anyone had ever hit her or hurt her? She said no, and the ER asked the same thing. I told her that I thought her fiance seemed a little controlling, and NO ONE should control another person!! I encouraged her to consider her situation. I also told her that emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse, and she should be in control of what goes on in her life. I invited her to come back and talk with me at anytime if someone hurt her or if she was worried about being in a relationship that she needed help getting out of. Janie responded by asking, “What’s your name again?” I told her, and she smiled, and said “Thanks.” I hope I see Janie again soon, and hope that I can help….

I am sharing this with you because odds are at least 1/2 of you are raising daughters.  There are too many young women in our society that end up in physically or emotionally abusive relationships. 

As parents, it is our job to raise daughter’s that are strong enough to avoid partners that are going to be abusive or controlling.

And, if you are raising a son, make sure you teach him to treat girls with respect at an early age. Raising strong, confident, mentally healthy men is a huge responsibility too, but that’s for another post. 😉

No one said it was going to be easy, but I can promise you it will be worth all the effort and hard work! Enjoy the journey! 😉

Mean Moms are the Best Moms

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / 6 Comments

“I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren’t perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all. I’m glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.”

I saw this poem in a pediatrician’s office when Joshua was a baby, and immediately knew these were words to live by. I was once again reminded of it today when a friend of mine called me for some Mom advice. I’ve told y’all that I started this blog because many of my friends call me for advice about their kids health and parenting issues. I never mind sharing my perspective and professional advice with a friend. I think we should all help each other.

As I’ve said before, It takes a village to raise a child, and it really does!!! 🙂

housewifeToday when I got a call from CC’s mom and heard what was going on, I knew I needed to do some clean up work, and fast. Mom’s mental health and stability is crucial for a happy, healthy family!!  CC is 13.5 months old, and one of the cutest little girls you would ever want to meet. She has a handsome, athletic Papa, and a beautiful, smart, strong, athletic, determined, and caring Momma. 😉 From the beginning, CC has given her parents many happy moments, and also a few challenging moments along their parenting journey. I remember going over in the first few weeks and helping CC and her Momma get the breastfeeding challenges under control. I told Mom at the time this was going to be a very head-strong little girl. I could tell from the beginning that she was going to learn how to do things her way. Today’s phone call let me know once again how head-strong and smart little CC is going to be. Even though she can’t say anything yet, CC made it known that she wanted to spend more time with her grandmother than mom by pushing away and saying what sounded like ‘Go away’….Can you say Heartbreak!! 😦 CC isn’t really talking yet, but we are thinking her first words were ‘Go away.’ When Mom called me, she had been processing this for a little while and just couldn’t believe her baby girl’s first words might actually be Go Away.

What this tells me is that Miss CC is S.M.A.R.T!! She has already figured out that spending time with a grandparents is all fun and games! Children learn very early on how to wrap those grandparents right around their little finger. Unfortunately, Mommy and Daddy don’t have this same luxury. Mothers and fathers have to be the disciplinarians. Parenting is NOT always fun. Children depend on their parents to set boundaries, create limits, and teach them what the real world is all about.  Mom and Dad don’t have all day to sit and play; they have to prepare meals, clean, do laundry, and work all while keeping up with the daily routine of life. So, playing all day is out of the question. Kids learn very early that they can get away with so much more with grandparents than parents, and they definitely use this to their advantage. Mom referred to CC as Miss Independence. I agreed with her, and told her that the text books really do call this developmental stage “Miss Independence.” Yes, there is no doubt where CC gets her smarts. 😉

I tell the working  mom’s I know that they really have 2 jobs, but only one of those jobs pays a salary. I tell the Moms that stay home that they have the hardest non-paying job ever. Motherhood is the hardest thing we will ever do… EVER!  Being a mother is the most thankless job you will ever have, but you really won’t care.  There is a saying that motherhood is like having your heart walk around outside your chest …how very, very true!

Being a mom does not mean you are your child’s friend. You can be their friend when they grow up and realize what a great person you are, and what a good mom you have been. Being a mom does not mean that you will do your child’s homework, they have to learn how to solve problems on their own. If they don’t struggle a little with learning, how will they ever persevere when things get tough.  Do not allow your child to think they are better than someone else. Being a mom means that you will discipline your child when they start to act inappropriately to another person. If children are not taught right from wrong, they will not learn what is right or wrong.  A mom should not let you talk disrespectfully to other people. A mom will make you use your manners, even if people are unkind. All of these Mean Mom things are going to help your child cope with the world around them, and build their confidence and self esteem. I could go on and on, but I think you get my point. And, yes, there are times, that you can let your guard down and just have fun with your children.

So, to my friend, I hope you are feeling better about being a Mean Mom. You are doing a fabulous job along this challenging  journey called Parenthood. Keep up the good work!! CC will thank you someday. 😉

As Mean Moms, we are teaching our children what is right and helping them become better people.

Mean moms are the world’s best moms! The world needs more mean moms on this journey, don’t you agree??

“I Got Mail!!” A Cool Gift Idea

/ Katie P. Tolley, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC / 2 Comments

Remember when you were a kid, and there was mail for you! It was so fun and it made you happy! Much different from the junk mail and bills we receive as an adult. It gets less fun as we grow up. 😉 I wanted to share a birthday gift idea our family has been doing for years now.

Send a magazine subscription to your friends for their birthday!

Most kids have plenty of toys, and really don’t need more. You don’t always know what toys friends do or don’t have. I remember being embarrassed more than once when my kids were given a gift and they would say, “Oh, I already have that.” Most parents get tired of picking up, and making their kids pick up toys.

Most kids magazines will come 10-12 times a year. Most of the kids magazines I have come across range from $15 – $20 per year. There are plenty to choose from: Nat Geo Kids, Ranger Rick, Ladybug, and Zoobooks, just to name a few. There are different magazine options for different ages too. Zoobooks has a 3 different magazines, 0-2 yrs, 2-6 yrs, and 6-12 yrs. National Wildlife Federation sponsors Ranger Rick (7-14 yrs), Our Big Backyard (4-7 yrs) and Animal Baby (2-4 yrs). Animal Baby is perfect for the preschool age group. Drew Elizabeth still has many of her Animal Baby magazines, and now that she is learning to read, loves going back to them because they are easy enough for a beginning reader!

 Just order the subscription online, and get a birthday card or make a birthday card to take to the party and write that the magazine subscription is on its way! Many subscriptions will take approximately 4 weeks to arrive. Some kids aren’t too excited when they get the card, but once the first magazine arrives, the excitement of receiving a gift reappears!

I remember one friend telling me that her daughter would get excited and say, “My magazine from Josh is here!” Another friend told me that her son loved Animal Baby, and would talk about Drew giving it to him every time it came in the mail.  A few friends have even asked for a renewal subscription as a gift the next year for their birthday.

So, as you celebrate with friends along this journey, remember that magazines are a fun and educational gift idea that continues to give all year long! I hope this idea is helpful as you continue along your parenting journey! 😉

zoobooks-tigers

 

National Geographic Kids