SnOw DaYs

Walking through my living room this morning picking up nerf bullets, I thought to myself, “Someday, I’m not going to have to pick these up.” WAIT(!!!) just a minute…. Ummm… someday… I’m not going to have to pick up nerf bullets… or any kids toys, for that matter… At that moment, I decided how grateful I was for snow days.

The first few are always so exciting. The kids are up early. They want to go outside and play. You dress them up, only to spend less time outside than it took to get ready to go outside. Then, afterwards, there’s hot chocolate. Marshmallows? Yes, please. Yum.

By the 5th or 6th snow day, they don’t even care where their snow boots are, they don’t want to go out, “it’s cold out there.” Josh told me it was just frozen water, no biggie. That was before the fun of sledding (pictures to follow). It was cold, but we eventually thawed out. 😉

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Sitting in front of the fire reading with the cat… Peaceful, leisurely, snow days.

If you don’t live in an area that gets snow, I’m sorry. I am glad I got to grow up somewhere that it snows and we had days off school for snow. It adds a few days on to the calendar in June sometimes, but, when it’s only February, you really don’t care. I remember being out over a week my Senior year of high school. Didn’t matter to me, Seniors’ last day was set no matter how many snow days there were. A little selfish of me? Sure, but, I was 17, what do you expect.

Now, I’m fortunate to have a job that allows me the benefit of staying home on snow days. Believe me though, I’ve put my time in. I’ve driven home from work on roads that were sheets of ice. One time, my husband drove me to work when I was an OB nurse, and we followed snow plows all the way down the highway from our town to the neighboring town where I worked. And, just like hospitals, most pediatric and other doctors offices don’t close unless the weather is really bad. So, it’s only been in the past couple years that I had a job with ‘snow days.’

Parenthood is about so many things, the daily meal planning, keeping track of all the schedules, getting the laundry done, keeping the house just clean enough to live in, homework, and all those other things that are so challenging and time-consuming.

Parenthood should also be about the snow days… The days that weIMG_0401 have no choice but to slow down. The days we take the time to enjoy the beauty of nature. The birds in the bird feeder with a backdrop that’s a perfect blanket of snow. The sleeping pet that enjoys having everyone home. And, the mom/dad that gets a chance to slow down, even if just for a moment between working on assignments while working at home on a snow day. 😉

Some of the best moments are the ones that are not in our plans. What is it they say about spontaneity?? All I know is that it’s a good thing. We need to take advantage of the moments that are dictated by forces beyond our control, and we make a change to our daily routines. That’s what is called “Enjoying the Journey” my friends. And, it’s essential to a good life!

Right now… Drew is sitting next to me reading Chapter 3 in her novel, Farewell, My Lunchbag, A Chet Gecko Mystery, and laughing right out loud. This is her reading assignment for today’s snow day. You see, my kids are not at a deficit for something to do. Their teachers email their assignments. 🙂  I think it’s a great alternative to the loss of instructional time. So, on this snow day, I get to experience something I would not have otherwise. Drew would usually be doing this reading in school. My opportunity to witness the joy it brings her is only possible because of this snow day.

So, today, like most snow days. I will be grateful for the time that I get to be Mom. These are the moments I’m not going to have someday. These moments of pure, innocent childhood that I am blessed enough to witness.

Snow days give us a chance to smell the proverbial roses. I hope those of you that have had a snow day or two, or more, remember how magical snow can be for a child (and an adult).

So, whether it’s your first or your umpteenth snow day… Please…  Take the time to Enjoy the Journey! 😉

My crew

My crew sledding

Hyperactive or just busy… Could your child have ADHD?? (v.2)

So many parents ask about ADHD and their child. Kids are busy and active, and they are supposed to be; so how do you know if they are “hyperactive” vs. “normoactive”… Read Hyperactive or just busy… and find out.

Even with the struggles, I hope you to take the time to Enjoy the Journey while you are figuring it out. 😉

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Can you imagine being Dennis’ mom?? Some days, I think I am…

Breastfeeding Tips for New Moms…

Breastfeeding…. and all its beauty, and all the sweet moments, and how wonderful it feels to do what you think is best for your child, and then the confusion of the feeding schedule, and which side did I leave off, and the fatigue, and a poopy diaper right in the middle of finally getting a good latch, and the leaking (UGH, the leaking), and the middle of the night feedings, and…. Ahhhh, breastfeeding, wonderful memories. 🙂 Really, I was lucky. I worked in a birthing center for 3 years before I had my first child, so I knew all about breastfeeding when it was my turn… HA, the naivety of my pre-maternal knowledge! I have since admitted that I right out lied to those poor new mom’s struggling to breastfeed, and I didn’t even know it. Of course you cannot latch a newborn when you are sitting completely upright, you have to lean in a little bit, it just works best that way; then you have to sit back so that you don’t have chronic back pain for the next 12 months. I know that now. Yes, I know you are having cramps when you breastfeed, but it’s just your uterus contracting back down, that’s a good thing. Umm, hello, those cramps HURT, have a little sympathy lady! Yes, you have to feed your baby every 3 hours, well, you kind of do, but there are exceptions to every rule, and until you breastfeed, you don’t have the opportunity to figure them out. Breastfeeding can be the most wonderful experience, but it can also be the most stressful, and difficult time for many new moms. I’ve been asked by multiple friends that are breastfeeding to write a blog about the basics, sorry it took so long, but here it is…

mother-baby-breast-feeding-32987944The Basics:

  • Newborn breastfed babies NEED to eat every 2-3 hours. This means they will have 8-12 feedings in 24 hrs. Babies need at least the minimum 8 feedings in 24 hours for adequate growth and development. My rule is wake them to feed every 3 hours when the sun is up, and they will reward you with more sleep at night. 😉 (This only pertains to babies that are gaining weight adequately. If your baby is having trouble gaining weight, please feed according to your health care provider’s advice.)
  • Babies should nurse from each breast for approximately 15-20 minutes. This should adequately empty the first breast before switching to the other side. Breastmilk supply builds on demand, the more the baby nurses, the better your milk will come in, and you have to empty completely to be able to refill adequately. Once your milk supply is established (~2-3 weeks), your baby may only eat on one side at a time until he grows a little. Joshua only at on one side each feeding from about 3 weeks until about 6-7 weeks when he went through a growth spurt. *Growth spurts (the first few) happen at about 10 – 20 days, and again at 4-6 weeks. Your baby will eat more often during a growth spurt. This helps increase your milk supply to meet his growing needs.
  • You know your baby is getting enough to eat by how content they are between feedings and if they can go the expected amount of time between feedings without showing signs of hunger. Adequate weight gain and between feeding contentment is the best indicator of optimal nutritional intake.
  • Utilizing different positions during breastfeeding is important: 1. It helps to stimulate milk production and 2. empties milk ducts more completely. Also, during the initial stages of feeding, it helps change the position of the baby’s mouth on mom’s nipple to decrease the discomfort that can initially be associated with breastfeeding. The different positions are cradle, cross-cradle, football, and side-lying. Side-lying is difficult until your baby gets a little bit older, then it’s the perfect 5am position. For more information on positions and some great latching advice, please check out this link on KidsHealth.org.
  • Speaking of discomfort, that initial “take your breath away” pain when your sweet little newborn first latches on is normal, and fortunately, a short-lived phenomenon. Keep in mind that nipple tissue is extremely sensitive. I don’t care what you’ve done in the past and with whom, no man can do the damage of a hungry newborn learning to breastfeed. This initial pain should last ~30-60 seconds, and then should subside. If the pain persists, the baby is not latched well, relatch (see above KidsHealth link for latching advice). This pain goes away after the first couple weeks, in the meantime, lanolin is helpful. Motrin can be helpful. A doc I worked liked a product called “Soothies” that were like a cool/second skin type pad to put over the nipple between feedings.
  • Do not pump in the first couple weeks to build your milk supply unless you have been instructed to do so by your health care provider. Overstimulation can lead to too much milk, engorgement, and even mastitis. If you need to pump to help relieve that engorgement pressure you feel when your milk supply first starts coming in (3-6 days), that is fine, but only pump a little. Do not empty the breast completely, just enough for relief.
  • SLEEP!!! Do yourself a big favor and get your rest. Sleep when your baby is sleeping. The chores can wait! You have other priorities now that you’re a mom. I beg you to do this, you will be so glad you did. If you don’t, you’ll understand why I begged you to try to slow down.

I breastfed both of my kids for the first year, Josh 13 months, and I had to cut him off. He was using me to go to sleep. The first night we didn’t feed, I put him to bed with a cup of water, and he was fine. So, again, got lucky with him. He was such a good baby! If you’ve read anything about Josh in my blog, you know he is anything but an easy child to raise now. I love him with all my heart, but he is the biggest challenge God has ever given me! I breastfed Drew Elizabeth for 11 months, and then she wasn’t interested anymore. She’s always been that easy, love my girl! 🙂

How long do you have to breastfeed? As long as you want to! It’s not a question for anyone but you. I wasn’t sure how long I would breastfeed until it happened. I didn’t really think I would breastfed for a year, but it was easier for me to keep breastfeeding. I enjoyed it. The recommendation is a year. The majority of mom’s stop between 4-8 months.

Breastfeeding provides so many health benefits for mom and baby, please visit the American Academy of Pediatrics statement on breastfeeding to read more. For a great link to all kinds of different breastfeeding knowledge, check out Lactation Education Resources.

So, that is my 2 cents on the basics of breastfeeding. I hope it is helpful. I was actually a Certified Lactation Consultant for a good part of my career. I’ve let the certification go, but the knowledge is golden. Please share with all the new moms that you know. If you have any questions or comments, as always, please let me know. I will compile a Breastfeeding Basics V.2 for followup. 😉

Breastfeeding is such an amazing part of the journey. I hope your experience is as good as mine. Enjoy! 😉

Do you ever serve chocolate milk?

Tagless: Great for shirts, not so much for kids…

We need to encourage children’s individual uniqueness along this journey we call life! 

children1A friend of mine is an Elementary School Vice Principal, and he recently wrote an article that has such wonderful perspective regarding the mental health of our children. After reading it, I wanted to share it with my readers here on Mom’s Daily Dose. Jon’s perspective is very intriguing and quite eye opening.

Check out Labels Are Bad, But is Tagless Better?, by Jon Harper. I have to agree 100% with his perspective. We need our children to know that being different is what makes them who they are, and they should be proud of their uniqueness. Feeling comfortable with who they are and embracing their differences leads to a healthy self image and good self esteem. I hope you appreciate Jon’s insight it as much as I did.

The mental health of our children is critical to their physical, mental and social development, and to our society as a whole. Enjoy the journey, friends! 🙂

ADHD: Non-medication help…

ADHD kidIt seems like every day I have another parent asking me if their child has ADHD (aka Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder). The answer isn’t an easy one, neither is the solution. I wrote a post trying to help answer this very question. If you want more information about how to know if your child’s behavior may or may not be ADHD, read Hyperactive or just busy…Could  your child have ADHD?

If you think your child has ADHD, but aren’t sure if they need medication or not, there are some things you can do that should help. Will these effective parenting tips keep your child from needing medication? No. If a child is in need of medication, then, I recommend medicating them. Medication alone can not help a child that is truly ADHD. The most effective treatment is medication along with therapy and effective parenting. 

I’ve talked before about effective parenting. I don’t think enough attention is paid to the importance of proper parenting. I see parents that want me to fix their child, when the problem is that the child is in need of consistency and routine. Children NEED consistent routines, especially children with ADHD.

  • Routine is unbelievably important. Doing things according to a schedule helps a child learn what to anticipate day after day. Using lists or pictures can be helpful to remind children what they are responsible for and keep them on task. Even with routine, your ADHD child will still need help getting everything done.
  • Make sure the rules are clear and followed consistently. If you have rules that are only enforced some of the time, the child will not know when they do or don’t have to follow the rules. This leads to frustration for the child and the parent. And, needless to say, inconsistent results!
  • Give the kids something to be responsible for…this could be helping to take care of pets, taking out the trash, or other chores around the house. This helps the child feel important, learn responsibility, and also builds self-esteem. You will have to remind your child to do their chores, it isn’t going to just happen. Having a list and checking off chores/responsibilities as they accomplish them can be helpful, and is a good way to reinforce good behavior.
  • Praise and Positive Reinforcement is a must for disciplining all children, especially children with ADHD. Recognize & Praise good behavior and accomplishments. Just getting homework or small chores done can be challenging for children with attention issues.
  • Limit “screen time” – This includes all screens, such as TV, video games, computer, etc. Screen time should be limited to just 2-3 hours per day, and should be turned off at least 1 hour before bedtime. This isn’t hard to enforce during the school year because there is limited free time after school. It is a little more challenging during the Summer. Being more liberal with this rule during the summer is ok, just remember, you will see a difference in the child’s behavior; and it is essential to get back into a school routine a week or 2 before school actually starts.
  • Have a good bedtime routine with an acceptable bedtime. Kids in preschool and early elementary grades should be in bed by 7:30-8:30, upper elementary should be 8:30-9, middle school 9-9:30, and high school should be between 9-10. For more information about sleep, please see my blog, Sleep is Crucial for Healthy Development. A tired child has trouble focusing, paying attention, and retaining information. For preschool aged children, there is a significant correlation between hyperactive and impulsive behavior and short sleep duration.
  • Watch what your child is eating, 3 healthy meals and snacks are important for good brain function. Adding essential fatty acids to a child’s diet helps promote good brain function. Eliminate artificial food dyes (AFDs) from the child’s diet. AFDs have been proven to increase hyperactivity in the majority of children. A study done in Great Britain in 2006 documented that 75% of children demonstrated hyperactive behavior correlated with ingestion of AFDs and Sodium Benzoate. I have recommended this intervention to many families, and received many Thank You’s because it makes such an obvious difference in the child’s behavior. I firmly believe that AFDs should be eliminated from our food supply altogether. AFDs have been outlawed in Canada, Britain, Germany and a few other countries.
  • If your child has allergies, treat allergies with a daily allergy medication. Allergies can make ADHD worse! Allergies are a hypersensitivity, ADHD is a hypersensitive state…1+1=2, it’s that simple (not really, but treatment is a must).
  • Exercise, exercise, exercise! Physical activity helps to regulate the neurotransmitters that are dysfunctional in those with ADHD. Participation in sports can be helpful and rewarding for your child. Daily outside time, even when it’s cold should be the norm. Tell your kids to run around the house a few laps before dinnertime, it gets the wiggles out.
  • Whatever your child is good at, encourage it! Whether their forte’ is math, sports, or creating, encourage it! Without our multitasking, intelligent ADHDers, we would not have telephones, airplanes, or many of the inventions and discoveries we take for granted everyday. My above mentioned ADHD post expands on this, even listing all the famous people throughout history that have/had ADHD, check it out!

These interventions take time and effort on the part of parents. They are useful for all kids of all ages, but especially necessary for kids with ADHD. Many of these interventions are just good, effective parenting. 

If a child is in need of medication, these interventions will NOT replace the need for medicating the child. There are typically side effects of medication for most kids, and this can be worrisome to parents. Some of the side effects can be decreased appetite when med is at it’s peak, headaches, stomach aches, mood swings, and sleep issues. It’s important to figure out if the medication is actually to blame, or if there is another underlying reason for the unwanted symptoms. For example, most ADHD kids will have trouble falling asleep, it may be the ADHD or too much screen time, and not the medication. It’s also important to evaluate which is worse, the side effects or the effects of untreated ADHD?? In my professional and personal opinion, the effects of untreated ADHD can be much worse than the side effects of the medication. Trust me, I’m living the ADHD thing with my son. Look for a post on untreated ADHD soon.

Having an ADHD child takes effort, patience, and frequently a little wine. 😉 ADHD children are challenging, difficult to parent, and also rewarding. Those creative ADHD minds are awesome to watch create, absolutely fascinating sometimes. So, if you are dealing with an ADHDer, don’t forget to stop and look at the positive side of this challenge. These ADHDers are going to do amazing things for society, they just need a little TLC, and A LOT of guidance to get there.

Good luck, and regardless of the challenges…. don’t forget to ENJOY THE JOURNEY!

 

Happy Birthday, My Boy!

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Trying out his Hard Rock hat and drum sticks on our DC trip!

I’m celebrating Joshua’s birthday today, but also my birthday as a Mom! My Boy has changed my world in so many wonderful and amazing ways! He has taught me that there are rules to parenting that don’t fit every kid, especially this one!

With kids, just when you think you know what you’re doing, they forget to read the book and respond accordingly…. ugh! My husband and I have been on this Journey called Parenting for 11 years now….and hope it will continue for many, many, many more!

Happy Birthday to my Joshua! The catalyst that started this unbelievable journey called parenthood!

I LOVE YOU JOSHIE!! 🙂 

Here’s to hoping we all continue to ENJOY THE JOURNEY!!! 

For more information about the beginning of this journey and tips about childbirth, check out my post Happy Birthday Baby Boy, A Whole New World!

For more on the challenges of parenthood and life with Joshua, check this one out… Parenting = Biggest Rewards + Most Frustrating Job You Will Ever Have!!

All you need is Love…

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My funny, little Valentine!

** Happy Valentine’s Day!! **

Today is a great day to remember that the most important thing you can give your children is your love & your time!! Your time is not only the single most important thing you can give your child, it’s also the one thing they want the most! Family time builds confidence and self esteem; and needless to say, it makes for happy parents too!

So, yesterday, we spent a little Valentine time together, just me and my kids. It was a little more challenging than I anticipated though.

We went to Walmart to get a few things, but specifically for Drew Elizabeth to pick out Valentines to take to school. In 1st grade, Valentine’s Day is quite a big deal, you know. As for Joshua, in 5th grade, not so much. He wouldn’t dream of giving out Valentine’s. (Although he will be thrilled when the chocolate covered pretzels I am having delivered to his class arrive.) He’s growing up way to fast, apparently by the time you get to 5th grade, Valentines aren’t so cool. So, I was glad he helped his sister with her Valentines, and without his help Drew would have gone to school with no Valentines to give out.

BTW- I DO NOT recommend waiting until February 13th to get Valentines for your kids to take to school. By this time, the choices were beyond limited, one thing left was Princess Valentines, which Drew Elizabeth would never give out. (She says she “DOESN’T DO” princesses!) The other choice, Origami Valentines… HA…. not as fun as it sounds…..

When we started in on the cute little origami ladybugs and butterflies, it didn’t look to hard. Fold in half, fold this way, crease that way….

We got the ladybugs done, not too bad, fold in half, fold up a little at the bottom, fold back down, fold back up, turn over, diagonal fold, another diagonal fold, and low and behold, we had a ladybug, CUTE!! Well, that was only half of them. Now time for the 16 step butterflies…..but first, it was time for dinner. (Thankfully, my husband had that under control while we were folding away.)

Origami butterflies are NOT easy, especially if you haven’t done origami before. This was when I was glad to have a brilliant big brother helping, and fortunately he has done origami before. Josh tried, and tried, I tried and tried…. Josh finally got the already folded display butterfly off the box to unfold and figure out. Then, we went online looking for “how to fold a square into and origami butterfly.” Found it, but it wasn’t any more helpful than the picture directions we already had that were about as clear as mud. Drew was getting tired, we only had enough ladybugs for half the class, and Josh was ready to give up….. Daddy’s suggestion, got to bed….

I looked at Drew, she was so tired, but also sad, if we gave up there would not be enough Valentines for the whole class, it was all or nothing now. Josh and I kept at it, as Drew sat there yawning. (My poor girl, she loves her sleep.) Then, Eureka…. Joshua finally figured it out!! 

It was time for an assembly line, Drew did the first 3-4 folds, I did the next tricky part, and Josh finished them off! (Daddy just quit on us and went to take a shower.)

So, today, Drew Elizabeth was off to school with her bag of origami Valentine cards to give out. There is no way in He!! that those first graders will understand how much trouble those stinkin’ things were, but they really are pretty darn cute. 😉

So, lesson learned, spending time with your kids is always a winner, regardless of the challenges… never give up… perseverance pay off…. and NEVER EVER buy origami Valentines again!! 

I hope you are enjoying this Valentine’s Day with your family, it’s one of the sweetest parts of the journey! 😉

“Love is the strongest force the world possesses, and yet it is the humblest imaginable.” – Mahatma Gandhi

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Origami Butterflies & Ladybugs… Too cute!

Small Dose #15 – Family Time is PRICELESS!! Happy Thanksgiving!!

Time spent together is one of the most valuable lessons you can teach your children!

Children want nothing more than to be with their family and to be accepted!

Family time increases self esteem, and makes for happy kids! No Doubt about it!!

Here’s hoping that this Thanksgiving is a good one for you and those closest to you!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

“Be thankful for being together!”-Marci (the philosophically intelligent friend of Charlie Brown & Peppermint Patty)

Please, remember to be grateful & Enjoy the Journey, friends!!! 😉

Hey kids, that extra hour was supposed to be for sleep…

Yay, an extra hour of sleep!! Well, that is unless you have kids (or pets) that are on a schedule and can’t tell time. Most of us are thrilled to have an extra hour of sleep when Daylight Saving comes to an end and we “Fall Back.” I learned early along my parenting journey that the time change can wreak havoc on a child with a good schedule. Good parenting involves schedules, so most kids will have some adjustment to make. Most kids have an internal clock, and it’s not necessarily the same as the time on your wall. Making the change can be difficult for many kids and their family.

One way to help minimize the difficulties is to change your child’s schedule in small increments, not an hour all in one day. Change your child’s schedule by 15 minutes at a time. 

Take bedtime for example: If your child typically goes to bed at 8pm, they are going to start melting down around 7. Change their bedtime to 7:15 for a few nights. Then, make bedtime 7:30, a few nights later 7:45, then finally back to 8 a few nights later.

Personally, I am going to enjoy the time change most when I get up for work tomorrow and it isn’t dark outside. There may be challenges during the day and especially in the evening, but the sun coming up an hour earlier will make getting my kids up a little easier. On the flip side, it will make outside playtime after school shorter, meaning less time for the kids to ‘get their wiggles out.’

Every stage of raising kids has it’s challenges. So, I have a small anecdote for those of you with kids that were up too early for you to enjoy your extra hour. Watch out when they do learn to tell time… When Joshua first learned to tell time, I tried to get him to bed a little earlier. He told me that the clock didn’t say 8:00, so it wasn’t his bedtime yet! That took a little extra time and some coersion…. So, enjoy the days when they don’t tell time, the next stage is equally challenging.

I hope all of you get to put that extra hour to good use and find time to spend it Enjoying the Journey!

Helping Children Deal with Disaster

With all of the news coverage of Hurricane Sandy, aka “Frankenstorm” I thought I should write a post about helping children deal with natural disasters.

So, how can you help your child go through a stressful event and minimize worry and concern?

  • The most important thing to do is stay calm. Children look to the adults around them for support and comfort. Often, parents will appear anxious, worried, and constantly talk about their fears and “what if…” scenarios. When a child is exposed to these behaviors, they will most likely be more anxious and worried as well.
  • Turn the TV OFF! Watching images of destroyed property, angry weather, and listening to hyped up newscasters will only increase a child’s concern. Watch a family movie or play a family game instead.
  • Talk to your child about their fears and concerns. Children will often be worried about things because they have exaggerated or irrational predictions about what may happen.
  • If there are serious injuries or losses, make sure your child knows what is going on. Children that don’t know the reality of a situation will often assume the worse.
  • Encourage your child to ask you any questions they want. Discuss what they are worried about, the unknown can be scary.
  • Find time for friends. Having life return to normal as soon as possible can be the best way to help your child understand that things will be ok!
  • Spend time together, this will make your child feel comfortable and secure.
  • Remember, children are resilient, they often persevere during times of stress and turmoil!
  • Encourage your child to journal or draw to deal with their feelings.
  • Continue to practice habits for good health. Get adequate sleep, exercise and make sure you eat well. Taking care of your body in times of stress is important. For tips on nutrition, check out my post, Let them eat cake… for breakfast?

Helping children through times of high anxiety can be challenging. Recognizing that your child is having difficulty dealing with a situation is not always easy. Symptoms of stress and anxiety can present in multiple ways, such as: bad dreams, insomnia, bed wetting, not eating well, not wanting to venture away from a parent/caregiver, stomach aches, headaches, not wanting to play with friends, difficulty concentrating, difficulty in school, or even irritability. If your child seems to be having lingering effects for a prolonged period of time, I would recommend seeing your primary care provider. Children can have Acute Stress Syndrome, which occurs immediately or within a month of the precipitating even. Children can  suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome if the fear and anxiety symptoms last for weeks or months.

If you and your family had to endure the weather challenges of Hurricane Sandy, I hope you came through it without any serious injuries or damages. It sure was  one heck of a storm, definitely one for the record books. Going through natural disasters is an unfortunate part of life. It is part of the journey we could all do without!

Hopefully this part of your journey will be put behind you quickly, and make you and your children stronger on the flip side.